GIGO-LAWYERING 101



Brain is one of my complicated lawyer friends. Initially, he made an image of convincing people that he is equals to Christian values. After the hellhole he undertook which is popularly known as Bar Exams, he transformed into this… a gyrating “stud muffin” that has the ability to make girls come to his knees and do things his male friends would puke on when they see it firsthand.

Blame Barack Obama and that Tae-bo guy for this overabundance of confidence.

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: BTW, confi pala ang pinagusapan natin kanina. Not for blogging.
The Sydman: Check. Wala namang cause for blogging eh.

It was something about genital warts…

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Knowing you, nothing is safe.
The Sydman: "The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: knowing you, nothing is safe. <--- This is the only wrong thing I'm doing right now.

I’ll probably make it a point to label my friends according by their morals.

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Nice.
The Sydman: See?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Isipan natin si Geist.
The Sydman: Abugwapo na e. Si Elgin… “cutetorney”. Si Alan… “forcexecutor”. Si Hyubs… “emogado”. Alam kong kay Elgin na yun pero mas bagay sa kanya ang “cutetorney” eh.


For a one time reader… one would probably rant… what… the… fuck…

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Isip ka using the root word “COUNSEL”.
The Sydman: Cuntselor?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Close enough. Dirtier next time.
The Sydman: hmmm… dirty... solicitorero? Just-tease?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Or root word notary public.
The Sydman: Not-ari?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: NOTA-ryo!

This is evidence that Brain was the one that thought of that name. Days later kasi, Geist addressed that the name kinda seems… “gayish”.

The Sydman: Teka, downgrade ba yun sa mga lawyers?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Actually upgrade yun.
The Sydman: Baket?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: May license pa yun aside from being a lawyer. Kumbaga additional skill.
The Sydman: Ows? So that means YUN yung financial side.

So those guys… that sets up their office in East Avenue… with merely a table… a typewriter and a stamp pad… with a couple of men raising their shirts to show off their stomach during lunch time... is better than those other lawyers working in air-conditioned offices?

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Not really. Kumbaga additional work equals additional cash.
The Sydman: Ahhh... pero pirmahan lang yun at tinginan kung masisira ka sa pipirmahan mo right?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Yep.
The Sydman: So that means that's not really work since kasama na yun sa duties mo bilang abogado?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Work pa rin yun.

The following conversation could trigger a burning sensation to attend law school. Lawyers… look away.

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Pero you can do the work while under a mango tree… or underpass if you prefer.
The Sydman: Scribbling isn't work. “Lawyer-ing” is yes, work, pero “scribbling” IS NOT work.
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: It is for lawyers.
The Sydman: So… pag may mga nagpapa-autograph to... let’s say... Empoy... that means he's working? NO!

Empoy is an ABS-CBN artist. He’s like Bentong… but hotter.

Admire my sarcasm.

"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: The perks of lawyer-ing… Signing your name in a document is already work. Listening to someone talk to the phone is billable. Even time used for texting is billable.
The Sydman: So pag nag-blot yung ballpen na ginagamit mo? DOES that mean you're NOT doing a good job?
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Basically you’re paying the lawyers time to make scribbles on a piece of tissue paper.

Hurray for two-ply tissue papers that when rubbed to your ass would ignite friction and later… rash.

The Sydman: So kunwari... your client posed for a naughty mag without her knowledge... is wiping your genitals with that piece of tissue paper after looking at the mag WORKING???
"The Gigolawyer" Evilbrain: Yes. I am going to hell.

For one thing, naming yourself a Gigolawyer would probably make the decision of going to that hot spot painstakingly easy.

Nonetheless, the next read would make his life an online nightmare.

END.

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