The subject:
FURKING (not real name): The Chinese Version of Dean Cain (that was once violated by a panda)


The situation: The day after Wednesday, which is DOTA night. Anyway, the population has been scarce as of late, one of the reasons hoisted was when our friend Phlebas went to Singapore to… ehem… pursue financial dividends (and perhaps a quick stop to Thailand to get his sex changed). Anyway, I was told he’ll be joining us but he had to cancel the last minute. The time I YM-ed him, well it was 11:00pm and I was still at work. The reason why he didn’t come? He was with a girl… that was actually his cousin’s ex (any girl wanting to be with him is rare… or so it seems)

Read on.

The Sydman: So ano, may napala ka ba?
Edson Ortega: (sarcastic) Wala. Kiss lang sa cheek… (pissed even more) Tae.
(change topic) Musta espadahan niyo?
The Sydman: ‘Tagal namin naghintay pero walang kalaban. Akala ko dadaan ka kagabi?
Edson Ortega: Hehe. Malas niyo.
The Sydman: Gago. Teka… so… ikaw ang nagyaya?
Edson Ortega: Hindi, ako ang niyaya.
The Sydman: Wala kayong ibang kasama?
Edson Ortega: Wala. Kami lang.
The Sydman: So ano yun… diniskartehan mo?
Edson Ortega: OO!
The Sydman: Astig…
Edson Ortega: Kaso ‘di ko masyado type.

Sydman was about to write words asking Furking his reasons regarding his hesitations when…

Edson Ortega: (perverted) Gusto ko lang siyang tikmaaaaaan!!!!

Sydman can imagine Furking’s face sheepishly laughing like he just raped himself with toothpaste. Stopping of the echoing of the “tikman” word repeatedly inside his head seems something with the highest impossibility! Pansin niyo pala na Sydman is referring to himself as another person?

The Sydman: (shaking head) Poooootangina talaga tong hayup na to...
Edson Ortega: (drooling) Pero mayaman siya… Ahente ng kotse. Laki ng kita niya. Bawat month 50k minimum!!
Evil Sydman: (excitedly typing) MAGANDA YAN GAGO!!!! TIRAHIN MO NA!!

Remembering my inborn sanity, The Sydman returns to normal. (But in fairness, damn I heard money!)

The Sydman: (back to normal) Ehem. Err… Tol, ano ang problema at bakit ayaw mong ligawan? Paalam ka lang sa pinsan mo at solb na problema mo. Ayaw mo non, may sugar mommy ka?
Edson Ortega: Gagu, pinsan ko nasa China na. Mukhang hindi na babalik.
The Sydman: Yun naman pala e. So anong problema?
Edson Ortega: Kaya ayaw ko rin kasi na-conscious din ako. Kaibigan kasi e.
Evil Sydman: walang kaibi-kaibigan sa t*tEng galet!!! lalo na kung ililibre ka pa pagkatapos?!? ‘DI BA AYOS YON… GAGOOO!!!!
Edson Ortega: Pagdating ng panahon ika nga ni Aiza…
Evil Sydman: Pare, TUYO YAN!! habang tagtuyot, basain ang bukid!!!
Edson Ortega: Ewan ko sayo! Sasabay na lang ako sa alon ng akin buhay kung san man marating e aking damdamin!
Evil Sydman: (breathing heavily whilst typing) Alon... ULOL!!! aalon yan pag tinira mo!!!! sa Akin ka pa nagpa-andar... bwiset!!!!!

Writer’s note: I just love it when I turn like Mon Tulfo…

Edson Ortega: HAHA! Kahit bastos ako pare may konting kabaitan din ako!
The Sydman: Ewan ko lang ha... pero feeling ko, pwede yan.
Edson Ortega: Tingnan naten…
The Sydman: Wag tingnan! GAWEEEN! Basta batse nako! tama na pagtatrabaho!
Edson Ortega: Nasa office ka pa rin?!?
The Sydman: Oo nga pala, hanapin mo yung ginawa namin ni Jorge. Basta kung ano yung ginawa ko sa kanya, ikaw na yung isusunod! Paalam!!!!
Edson Ortega: Sige!

As I was trying to logout my account… something… or someone… BUZZED.

jorgecosgayon: Syd…
The Sydman: (carelessly putting away work stuffs) What?
jorgecosgayon: You touch my tralala!

Glimpsed at the PC then found the last remark too disturbing. Jorge is somewhat undergoing gender related post-quarter life crisis. (HAHA)

The Sydman: (shocked) What?
jorgecosgayon: (pissed) Pota BAKET si Sib ang nanalo sa MTV VJ HUNT?!?
The Sydman: (relieved) OWS?

This was published light years ago.

(sarcastic) YEAH! THE SIB SHOW GOES…
(gasps) INTERNATIONAL!!!!!!!

Writer’s note: Actually I can care less if Sib wins because Kat Alano and Andi Manzano won too. At least it was not a total loss…

Then I browsed for “interesting” pics.


jorgecosgayon: (disgusted) Ewwwwww… that punk ass loser…
The Sydman: (laughing) Pare don’t tell me… are you… JEALOUS?!?
jorgecosgayon: (disgusted) Tangina. Sib is only a little better than Tim Yap.
The Sydman: You're also jealous of Tim Yap?!?!? Have you gone mad!?!?!
jorgecosgayon: Only because ina-agawan ka nila ng spotlight sa Bading Universe! HAHAHA… BUTTBOY!

Writer’s note: My friends call TV stations as such. Why? I dunno… errr… LA Lopez rulz?

The Sydman: Well at least I don't eat with that mouth!
jorgecosgayon: (thinks long and hard) Point taken.
The Sydman: Dude, you don’t watch MTV so what’s with the fuzz??? Isn't it enough that we see DYLAN and not Sib at Jack??
jorgecosgayon: Better point. But hey I do so watch MTV. Pimp My Ride pare.
The Sydman: Granted pero dude, Dylan is like... you know… puta gusto kong maging tato!!!
jorgecosgayon: Hehe. Be right back. Kain muna.
The Sydman: Of course. Go. Eat. Things. That. Crawl. Or something. Like Tim Yap. Sakto alis na ako. Pero not after this moment of Zen.

Sending 1 file to jorgecosgayon...
RJ_Jimenez_-_Miss_Kita_Pag_Tuesday.mp3 (5549 KB)
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