This was made a couple of months back. Someone asked me if I can play as a guy on the back.

Sooooo…

Check out the guy on the back.

Diba ang gwapo nung guy at the back?

Here’s a break to all the mudslinging.

Last December 12, GMA held its annual Christmas Party at the Amoranto Stadium. Yes, 10,000 raffle hopefuls stormed the place and ransacked Pantranco’s House of Sports by littering the grounds by cigarette butts, beer cans, and yes… my oozing sex appeal.

Yes, I said it… my oozing sex appeal.

In the department competition, my unit posted third out of nine hopefuls in our annual best of the best duel. Since my entry in their fold, we have yet to win so this is somewhat of an “achievement”.

And this is a step up from the seriously creepy character I introduced two years back when they starred me as Michael V in the “Hindi Ako Bakla” MTV.

That was like… eww…

The only problem I had is that they made me too fruity so I would register great in front of a camera. I looked too fruity!

You can’t hear me rap, because I could only get the pics… so just think of me rapping to this.

Ang sabi ng iba masarap ang mane.
Ang sabi ko naman depende sa mane.

May mane-manehan, may tunay na mane.

Pero ang tunay na mane, babad sa weeweh!

And yeah, here’s a pic with my favorite stalker/groupie.

Break it down, Yo!



The guy has been staying in an unexplored land for so long that he almost encountered technophobia. He has practiced vine-traveling and he has replaced his love for guitars for tummy-thumping. Since returning to un-civilization:

1) He has yet to use silverware.
2) He learned to not use shoes.
3) He learned to clothe his self with soil.
4) He found that tree stalk tastes better than processed food.

So… his ability to properly type seriously escapes me.

Jorge: Retard!

The Sydman: Bitch! You're here!!?!

Jorge: Dude that is so gay… so F’N gay. I miss you too.

The Sydman: I don't care!

Jorge: Awww. Come here and give me a big hug! And don't mind the boner.


He is so big in words. Back in his oafish terrain, the only way people communicate is by sniffing someone else’s ass.

Jorge: Kausap ko kanina si Mark.

The Sydman: Ano sabi?

Jorge: Wag na. Baka tigasan ka din.


Jorge probably told Mark how he punctured his balls with a stick to make it as if he was menstruating.

The Sydman: So ano, how is life without civilization?

Jorge: Tangina, bakit ba yan lagi hirit! Sibilisado na kami noh! Matagal na kaming naka-bidet pag naglilinis ng pwet! Oh syet… it is the greatest invention known to man! Bye bye toilet paper… and hello soft buttocks!


Remember that “Red Guy” from Cow and Chicken? Picture that with ultra white skin and hair everywhere.

Now, go to sleep without thinking about that!

The Sydman: Basta sabi mo maniniwala ako.

Jorge: Grrr… ambagal ng wi-fi dito! Nagnanakaw lang ako sa wi-fi ng mga pari!

The Sydman: Ahhh… ok… pero diba dapat malakas ang signal sa taas ng bundok? Umabot na ba ang Jollibee diyan?

Jorge: Tagal na Jolibee dito noh pati Mang Donald!

The Sydman: Pero ang endorser pa rin ba niyan ay si Carmina Villaroel? At malamang may milkshake pa rin ba diyan? Damn it, you're lucky…

Jorge: Dude you're so old school! Teka lilipat ka na daw?


Here’s the thing: “that other company” is the enemy. I remember during this time, Christmas vacations were left high and dry after some of those dickheads accused us of making scams.

Almost a year later… and a bunch of cases launched due to their false accusations… let’s just say whatever nonsense they fed the public… is eating their souls.

I won’t even name that company on my site because that is advertising!

The Sydman: Don’t say shitty things! Bat naman ako lilipat doon!?!?!

Jorge: Sabi ni Geist!


Geist and Mark then flooded my monitor with this nonsense. It almost cost me my job! Damn you Jorge and your child-bearing hips!

Anyway, Mark gave a pretty cool insight on why he made such lies.

Mark Villasin: Naisip ko lang. Kaya mo ba kinakalat na lilipat na sa other network si Syd kasi wala kayong Channel 7 sa isla niyo?

Jorge Cosgayon: *gasp* Nabuking mo ako.


Anyway…

The Sydman: That's just plain wrong man. I should kick you in the nuts for saying that. Pero virtual kicking lang kasi hindi ko alam kung may overnight trip from Manila to jungle.

Jorge: Kasi diba bawal diyan ang office romance much less office nookie and office quickie? Well?

The Sydman: Dude wala ng office romance pag tatlong floors or more! Besides, in your land walang building! Bungalow na ang pinakamataas! Wala kayong tape measure diyan kaya hinlalaki lang ang gamit ninyo!!!!!

Jorge: Dude wala ng office dito kasi lahat kami telecommute! Hinlalaki lang ang damit ko in the comfort of my room! And I know you're enjoying the visual treat! Anong part kaya ng katawan ko ang tinatakpan?


Lives will forever be destroyed with this unlawful scenario.

Jorge: Atsaka dude, pano yan kung mabuking kayo? “Concerned” lang ako kasi bihira na nga mangyari sayo yan!

The Sydman: Una, hindi ko siya GF dito. We are officemates. Yun ang kasunduan ng aming relationship! But since alam na nila na “kami”, hindi na lang kami gumagawa ng mushy-creepy stuffs sa opis!

Jorge: Pucha! Pano yan? Yun na nga lang ang appeal ng office romance e! Within "Striking distance" ang cobra mo! Ay sorry, garden snake pala!

The Sydman: Ha! Funny you mentioned garden snakes kasi yan ang kinakain mo diyan sa kagubatan mo! And for the record, she's like sobrang bait so don't make fun of her!!!!

Jorge: I am not making fun of her! Alam ko na may ginamit kang “ritwal” para mabihag siya! Teka teka teka… before ang lahat, one question. And seryosong sagot ha!


I remember all the times Jorge would trap me in telling things that happened in the past. He rode in the “me having a GF” fever when it was over. He practically pigged past info that will never materialize on ever repeating and it bolts my ass to see him milking something that has seriously dried up!

Jorge: Seryoso ba to?

I had to think hard…

Jorge: Tangina ang tagal naman ng sagot! Tsk, masamang sinyales toh!

And write fast.

The Sydman: Dude six months ko siyang niligawan. Binasted niya ako sa simula pa lang at sobrang naasar ako pero bumalik ako tapos todong sinuyo ko siya! Record 6 months ang panliligaw ko! Tapos one week bago niya akong sagutin, sinabi niya sa parents niya na sinasagot na niya ako! So yeah, sobrang seryoso ako!

Was my explanation enough?

Jorge: Dude, yes or no lang naman hinihingi ko eh.

Damn it!

Jorge: So kung seryoso ka, dinala mo na ba sa tambayan?

The Sydman: Nakita na nina Geist, (name withheld upon fear of libel), Brian, Allan, Mark, and Janis pero hindi ko pa siya dinadala sa tambayan.

Jorge: Ows? Nakita na ni Allan? Hindi pa ba siya nagpapacute?


The Sydman: Sinong Allan ba ang sinasabi mo?!

Jorge: Si Ditty.

The Sydman: Akala ko Allan Canlas. Kelan pa siya naging cute??


Jorge made it sound like he had the hots for Ditty. All the moments they spent in Boracay walking hand and hand while carrying a 20-sided dice and a paper to store their hit points when they role play must have worked dividends!

Jorge: Ahhh… mahilig kasing magpa-cute sa syota yun eh. Kaya nga galit na galit si Jean dati sa kanya!

No, you’re ex was mad at Jorge because he is such a fairy.

The Sydman: By the way… how’s your chick?

Jorge: We're having fun in our little treehouse… na naka wi-fi.


He probably wasn’t kidding when he said that.

The Sydman: Na ninakaw mo sa pari? Eww. So ilang months na kayo ng chick mo?

Jorge: One year and two months. Tanong mo kung ilang months na ako dito? One year and two months… and a half.


Say what you want about this organism but chicks dig lead guitarists. Although I read somewhere that girls would rather fondle guys that strums ukuleles than rockers that plays bass.

And yeah, I made that all up.

The Sydman: At ano naman usually ang pinag-aawayan niyo?

Jorge: Kung sino ang uubos ng pizza!


Anyabang talaga ng putyaragish na ‘to.

Receiving 1 photo from Jorge...

At nagpapadala pa ng picture para makita namin ang kanyang exploits!

A problem occurred while transferring the file "Screenshot-1.jpg". The transfer has been stopped.

Jorge: Pfft! Mamaya na lang! Bagal ng wifi ng pari! Nagsi-stream pa kasi sila ng porn eh! Sayang I'm on a roll!

Luckily it was a mere insult-laden image on how he duped Mark on saying such un-insightful stuffs.

Blah!

One reason why people shouldn't make do plugs for Valentine's Day when I am single and really angst-filled.

Also, admire the copy! If you notice, there's an awkward part... which was necessary for the konyo-like diction!

Hehe!