My college days will never be awesome if it was lived without a bunch of computer addicts that basically waste around their parents’ precious dineros to allot pain and swirl around profanities to burned-out slackers.

Fast forward to the yuppie years, where every buck earned means either going to a bank… or donating it to its nearest beer patron. Anywho, back in college there was UST Counterstrike team amply called “COPS”. The group comprised of Noel a.k.a. Jellay, Iceman, Ditty, Windholm, Biohazard, Mark (the reserve player… he’s pretty much like the “Gabby Eigenmann” of the teen supergroup “The Gwapings”) and the idiot that would debut in this page.

Anyway, they once ranked second in the PC shop palaro. Maraming bilib sa kanila pero magulang lang sila (Hindi nila kayang gulangan si Hyubs).

(By the way, nakita ko si Louie noong tumatayo ako sa lotto noong Feb 22 – dahil malaki ang pera. Gusto ko siyang batiin kaso nakapila ako tapos hindi ako sure kung kuya niya ba yon o yung actual na kakilala ko dahil… MAGKAMUKHA SILA tapos di ko rin kayang isigaw ang name niya kasi PAREHO SILA NG PANGALAN AT JOLOGS YUN kaya pinabayaan ko na lang sila.)

Naging sweet pala sila ni Janis dati.

Ehem.

Anyway, even with their combined might…

Wala parin silang laban kay Hyubs.

Moj: Who are you?

The Sydman: Isang hot stud.

Moj: Hot stud… o hot shit?

The Sydman: Jorge? Ikaw ba to?

The COPS team paved the way for me to know Jorge.

They all look alike actually.

Moj: Ehem… ehem…

The Sydman: Diba may asawa ka na?

Moj: Uhhmmm… wala. Ano nga name mo?

The Sydman: Mr. ultra hot…

Moj: IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!!

Moj Reynes a.k.a. Foxhound… the star of the new decade (or the decade where Manilyn Reynes was still in Young Love, Sweet Love).

He’s a jabroni.

The Sydman: So lahat ng mga pinagsasabi sayo ni Geist, gagawin mo?

Geist is “teaching” Moj the ways of “Office Romance”. More on this later.

The Sydman: Once I get a picture of you to make fun off… tapos ilang words… YOU'RE NEXT!!!

Moj: Eh bat mo alam?

The Sydman: I have sources pare…

Moj: Well… YOUR SOURCES SUCK… LIKE YOU!!!

The Sydman: Dude you're “Xerox” moves will be revealed and Jorge will see it! Mark will see it! Ditty will see it!

Moj: So? I'm not afraid of the big, fat bastard.

That’s Jorge by the way.

The Sydman: You'll be exposed! The gay guy they nurtured turns out to be a MAN! A MAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!

Moj: Ikaw ba yun?

The idiot got me.

The Sydman: No, you human form of nothingness! I reek of AWESOMENESS! You reek of GAS! SWEET POTATO GAS enriched by your sweat glands – learned from the combined teachings of Jorge and Ditty!!! Whenever they search for your name, they'll see you're name HERE! And the dozens... and the DOZENS of my fans will chant my name!!!

** cricket sounds in the background **

The Sydman: SYDRICK! SYDRICK! SYDRICK!

My life has reached a new low.

Moj: You're such a sick perv, man! YOU SUCK!

The Sydman: YOU SWALLOW!

More material next time.
This…



Can easily be this.


Anywho…

I was busy this week so I have yet to find an appropriate “feed” for my blog.

Luckily, Geist sent this.

Jorge: When I was a young warthog…

Geist: At least you admitted you’re a pig.

Jorge: Warthog! Balbon kase!


Eww. Any organism that grazed on that path must be quarantined…

… or blessed.

Who knows?

Jorge: When you was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large and now that I have grown, I eat FIVE dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a BAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!!!

It suddenly caught me. I think I am reading a demented version of Calvin and Hobbes.

And of course, Jorge is the furry stuffed beast that allegedly comes to life whenever “Calvin” touches him.

Who knew Calvin and Hobbes has phallic undertones?

Geist: Still a pig.

Jorge: Bitch.


With apologies to Mimi Bobeck and the rest of the Drew Carey Show characters.

This is a radio plug from a defunct show where my voice was used to speak outrageous lines.

I just used a pic of a wonderfully-made art film to make the lines you are about to hear right now a little… “Grandiose”.

After hearing it, walk around and wonder… how is this relevant to the show?

On a sidenote: the copywriter of the plug, Cheryl Narvasa, has moved on to film writing and her last film, Shake, Rattle, and Roll X (the Kim Chiu episode), went on as one of the top-grossers of the 2008 Metro Manila Film Festival.
*** DISCLAIMER: Can't find appropriate image so ito muna ang proxy. Will change eventually.***


Status ni Phlebas sa YM ay dead and bloated.

I am too spooked from work to create a witty remark.

The Sydman: Phlebas is dead? Just like Rustom Padilla?

Phlebas: Ha? Self-euthanasia?

The Sydman: Dude hanapin mo si Bebe Gandanghari sa Youtube. Malamnag pagiisipan mo na ang preferences mo.


Now you could be living inside a rock if you don’t know the fairy tale (of is it ferry tale) of the hunky man that dreamt to become a bosomy lady.

If my showbiz instincts prove real then chances are she’s almost a he!

Phlebas: Nagpa-sex change na talaga siya?

The Sydman: Hindi ko pa alam eh! Pero isipin mo na lang... it could be you.


Isipin niyo si Phlebas naka-two piece at naka-balandra sa Puerto Galera… nagbago ang lahat… pwera lang ang kanyang boses.

Or worse, iba na ang boses niyo pero yun parin ang katawan niya!

The Sydman: Malapit ka pa naman sa Thailand…

Phlebbie Galang… Phleby Galang… pwede din Phoebe Galang…

Phlebas: BAKA MAS MAUNA KA PA SA AKEN DON!

If he reads this, he could kill me.

I should stop now.

The Sydman: Hoy umuwi ka na para may proof!

Phlebas: Just look to the skies.


The Sydman: Ano ka, smog?

Phlebas: A380!


This is me, seriously stupid, at all things moving that doesn’t highlight anything famous.

The Sydman: Isa kang spraynet?

Phlebas: A380 = SPRAYNET?!?


This is me stomped.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airbus_A380

The Sydman: Ah ganun. So tingin mo sa sarili mo isa kang jumbo jet?

Phlebas: Better than a little prick right? Bakit ikaw, Cessna ka lang ba? Basta bigla na lang ako susulpot dyan na parang kabute!

The Sydman: Ano ang “Cessna” at bakit ka magpa-parang kabute?

This is me… still stomped.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cessna_172

By the way, speaking of circumcision terms, I remember another “kabute” incident today.

Chai: Ano balita? May GF na ba si Froi? Nag-aaway pa ba sila? Bati na?

The Sydman: Ang alam ko ay hindi na sila nagpapansinan. Madalang na rin pumunta si Froi. Pero di ko alam kung may GF na siya.

Chai: Nagbebenta siya ng PSP games kahapon.

The Sydman: Ows?

Chai: Parang kabute yun… sumusulpot-sulpot.


Hmmm, wala na akong balita sa kanila eh. Kung meron kayong kwento, just ping me. Anyway…

Phlebas: Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakauwi eh. Basta kung nandyan na ako… eh nakauwi na ako.

The Sydman: Wow... mysterious. Pero hindi talaga totoo yung sinasabi ni Edson na nagpa-sex change ka?

Phlebas: Naniniwala ka na kay edson? Ano ba yan Syd!?!

The Sydman: Dammit. You got me there, pare. Wala na kasing balita dito e. Teka lang titingnan ko kung kaya kong mabuhay pagkatapos kung lumamon ng stapler…

Phlebas: Sige break an artery.


And yeah, I’m pretty much wasted to even think of a witty end.

So until my next installment, SURF PORN!
** DISCLAIMER: REGARDING THE PICTURE, SINCE ALL CHINESE PEOPLE LOOK THE SAME AND I AM 1/16th RACIST, UNTIL SOMEONE SURRENDERS WILLIAM’S PIC, THIS WILL BE HIS PICTURE! **

The Sydman: KASALANAN BANG MAHALIN AKO!?!?! TAENA, HINDI KAYA! BAKET MO INIISIP YAN!!!! NAHU-HURT AKO! GRABEH! SOBRAH!

This is a one-act play created by yours truly and the man that looks like the F4.

williamsuperpogi: OO MALIBOG KA KASE, PEKPEK! Nalimutan mo na ba ang mga panahon na pinagnanasaan mo pa ako!?!

The combined penises of the whole F4.

The Sydman: Dude... lasing ako noon! Atsaka who would ever thought na ganun ang reaction ko sa pork and beans!?!

This is definitely a genuine tearjerker.

Tears will definitely flow every time you jerk forever and ever and ever.

williamsuperpogi: May lasing ba na nagawa pa akong itali ng walang kalaban-laban at nagawa mo pang mag-suot ng lingerie at maghanap ng latigo!?! LASENG KA BA NON!?! SINUNGALENG!

And for the record… this was not based from some god-awful life story.

Maybe this is HIS story… but definitely not mine.

The Sydman: Pare una, hindi ako yun! Walis tingting lang ang ginamit ko sayo! Baka ibang tao yan! Atsaka sa lingerie... lata lang ng pork and beans ang ginamit ko! Sabi ko pa nga, pwede na yun na condom! Doon nga tayo nagaway diba??? Sabi mo kasi bat pa magko-condom!?!?!

williamsuperpogi: At nagagawa mo pang mag-sinungaling, mongoloid ka! Pagkatapos mong nakawin ang aking LAKAS…

Paunawa: Please refrain from touching your genitals when reading the following excerpts. Your body heat is not welcome in this website.

williamsuperpogi: …At KATAS… IDE-DENY MO LANG LAHAT!!!

The Sydman: Pare, yung katas mo, nilagay mo yun sa ref! Sabi mo pa nga yun ang magiging bagong flavor ng ice candy ninyo! IBANG TAO ANG SINASABI MO!!!!!!!!!

williamsuperpogi: Sabi mo nga hindi ka maglalagay ng petroleum jelly kasi maliit naman ari mo!

The Sydman: HINDI AKO YON!!!


People might not know this, but he owns a computer shop near Munoz where he enjoys long, hard, and fruitful hours with Mike George, a former teen star who is currently Via’s boytoy… and Rey.

Rey is a callboy for poor gays.

If you need a “stud” for your dogs, call him.

williamsuperpogi: Pero naman yung ugat naman ng ari mo e kalaki-laki at ang tigas pa! Parang ugat ng akasya!

Looking back, I think that YM was a cry for help.

The Sydman: Pare isipin mo ang sinasabi mo!

williamsuperpogi: WALANG HIYA KA!

The Sydman: Hindi ako yun! Maniwala ka! Aaminin ko naman yun e!

williamsuperpogi: Hindi kita pare!!! Mare kita!!!

The Sydman: Hindi ako pulubi sa pagmamahal mo! Hmpf!

Questions? Reactions? Questions regarding our sexuality? Hurl it here!

Until then… SURF PORN!


Here’s something from my work where it tolerates my obsession to mesh fun with hardship.

Actually madali lang para sa akin. Sa artist at sa grafix mahirap.

WHAT UP!!!!