Jorge weighs more than Kimerald


Jorge: Freak! Tanong: Alam mo yung commercial ng Coke na bago? Basta! Gagawa ako ng blog post! Nairita ako! Do those people look like they drink Coke?

The Sydman: Dude naman. Oo naman!

A few days back, Jorge ranted on his website, http://www.farfromneutral.com/, why Coke would get skinny, muscular, pretty boys and girls as their ambassadors. To view what he blogged, click here.

http://farfromneutral.com/exodus/humor/coca-cola-blues/

Here’s my take on his vision: there is a reason why Coca-Cola is the second most recognizable brand behind Mickey Mouse… and that’s because everyone drinks it.

Even the fittest of supermodels drink Coke. Damn it, that’s why we have Diet Coke, Coke Zero, and all other unsuccessful low calorie drinks that kept on spawning and disappearing in the market. Even the most rational of all people may or may not agree that drinking Coke every freaking day will make you a sad, diabetic time bomb. However, everyone will agree that Coke rules (although it was once upstaged by Pepsi during the late 90’s when Pepsi started to get top-notch celebrities like Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, and the Spice Girls as their endorsers).

Sure, the fact that they let someone as undernourished like Kim Chiu to star in their plug should make all the fat people cringe in despair. But mind you, Coke’s last TVC involved a family of not-so-wonderful aesthetics. Their Xmas plug involved an overly usual family. And they had a string of actors and actresses acting in their plugs like Tito, Vic, and Joey, Dolphy, among others. Coke is known to discover talent… great examples provided includes Lilet, Nikki Gil, Mosang…

Mosang?

Anyway, saying that skinny, muscular, and overly pretty people cannot represent the brand is discriminating these people just because they have something that other people don’t. The fact being a Coke ambassador is merely a marketing ploy. If FHM, Maxim, and Playboy placed grotesque unflattering women in their covers, would the reading (or ejaculating) public yearn for their copies?

Jorge: Puta kung si Gabe Mercado pa pwede…

Gabe Mercado could be a household name if his sitcom “Eto Na Ang Susunod Na Kabanata” where he tried to replace the character, Dino Tengco, that was once portrayed by the rival station’s talent, Anjo Yllana…

Jorge: Or ako.

What?

Jorge: Ako dapat maging Coke endorser.

Ad agencies have tendencies to place odd-looking newbies which tends to discover previously untapped talents. It could also feature former teen stars… like this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzOIrrGfjRE

Jorge, if you want to be the next big discovery, the best way to get a start is through auditions.

The Sydman: Errr… alam ko subsidiary din nila ang BMEG…

(Writer’s Note: I could have second-guess myself with this statement since Coca-Cola has found a way to struggle away from the San Miguel Corporation banner… but I could be wrong.)

Jorge: TAE.

Imagine Jorge in a BMEG ad… shoveling poop and then looking at the camera like Gerry Geronimo and then he blurts “Kabayan, sigurado ka bang masustansya ang kinakain ng inyong biik?”

Jorge: Although pwede din ako sa BMEG…

And there you go.

5 comments:

  1. ok na sana ung buhay coke na campaign e. totoong tao na totoong umiinom ng coke. kim chu is just shitty.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kim Chiu is the perfect coke endorser! Why? because she actually looks like she's thirsty. Besides the fat hairy man thing on the right looks like he's had enough it. Plus he looks like he knows a lot about coke! Therefore, "I challenge the coke geek!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. remember the kapal gooms TVC a few years back? Jorge, you know what...

    dammit, pag pinindot niyo yung link, makikita niyo ang isang vintage mike george TVC.

    bat kasi walang youtube link sa hinayupak na blogsite na to e!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. says the guy that looks like tessbomb.

    ReplyDelete