Driving with Janis and Dulay

Here’s an ode to all lady drivers.

I am not sexist. However this clip was uploaded because of this instance perpetrated by this person.



One night, when I was headed to my “tambayan”, some deranged lunatic went berserk and tried to maim me. However, my nonchalant reaction made the hitman (or hitwoman to be politically correct) reek in despair.

So this left the driver with no other alternative but to extract further pain by bringing it up online.

Janis Selphie: Ako nga pala yung bumusina sayo kahapon. Yung mukhang naihi ka sa kalye.

I was listening to my PSP music. There is no way I would hear the car unless it was skidding.

And I did NOT wet my pants!

The Sydman: Ahhh gets. Yung muntik ng mabangga yung bato?

Janis Selphie: Oo sadya yun.

The Sydman: Anung sadya? Dikit kaya! konti na lang taob ka! Parang “uy, ang panget mag-park... lady driver…”

Janis Selphie: Malayo pa yun!

The Sydman: Hindi nga!

Janis Selphie: ULULl! Naihi ka nga sa pantalon mo eh!

The Sydman: Yun kaya yung iniwasan ko… IKAW AT YUNG BATO!

Janis Selphie: Ni hindi ka man lang pumalag! Kung ibang tao yun?!

Kung ibang tao yun, then that would have been uncool.

Janis Selphie: Sori na!

The Sydman: SORI MO MUKHA MO!

Janis Selphie: Mukha ka lang namang tanga kahapon eh! Atsaka si Mark lang nakakita non! Pag-pray mo na lang na hindi nya pagkakalat!

Well I kinda posted it so that wouldn’t have made any sense.

But this would.

The Sydman: Eto pagkalat mo: si Cindy nagalit sakin nung Sabado.

Recently I brought Cindy to the “watering hole”. Cindy’s PREFERRED VALENTINE GIFT was to see my “sanctuary” where Wednesdays and Saturdays of my life was wastefully spent. On contrary to persistent rumors…

… Hindi ko siya dinala doon dahil nagtitipid ako.

Ask her!

Janis Selphie: Baket? Kasi nagdodota tayo lahat?!?

The first thing she noticed about the place was it’s not “homey” if you are a woman. Imagine a grown man playing with his mouse… giggling in glee.

Ewww…

Good thing Brain didn’t go to his usual porn-seeking habits…

The Sydman: Ang una niyang sinabi pagsakay sa taxi "Hindi naman hawig ni Will DeVaughn yung friend niyo e!"

She was talking about this:



Not matching with this:



I guess noong sinabi ko na hawig ni Dulay ang ulo ni Will DeVaughn, Cindy’s was actually thinking of his face.

Janis Selphie: Kayo lang naman nagsasabi na kamukha ni Dulay yun eh!

The Sydman: Disappointed siya sobra! Ipagmamalaki daw niya na na-meet and greet niya yung crush ng katulong nila… at may pic pa sila!

Janis Selphie: Tang ina naman e! Ewan ko sa inyo!

For the dozens of persons interested with the lives of me and my friends, a slew of new material will appear in the not-so-distant future. Until then, surf porn!

END.

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