And now for something completely different...

It began, as these things now often do, with Facebook. It will end, as these things also often do, with total and absolute effin' inanity. A word to the prude: PROFANITY and POLITICS up ahead!





Not too long ago, I posted this on my Facebook status:
So take your grey poupon my friend, and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!

Here's the thing about Facebook status messages: you post them to get a reaction. To get that, it has to be any and all combinations of witty, offensive, provocative, slutty, angry, pathetic, or clique-ish. My intended audience was the latter: not many people quite remember the lyrics of "Eat the Rich"; for most of the pop du jour aficionados (which make up 80% of the listening public) Aerosmith is that pop group that sang "I don't wanna miss a thing". Interesting Pareto Principle effect: 80% of their most famous songs were done in the latter 20% of their existence; 80% of that 20% is utter crap, which is what everybody likes. go figure.

Anyway, I posted that status message because I was rather pissed at certain politicians and public figures (both past and present) as I am wont to do; it happens often. There's a few in particular that got on my nerves, complaining about their oh-so-difficult lives because they have trouble deciding on groceries and shopping. Give me a fucking break. Tell that to this kid:
fuck you and your problems

So yeah. F* you and your problems.

True to form, Mark chatted me up.

Mark: Eat the rich!
at kanino ka na naman galit?

Jorge: ehh, the usual na politicos.
btw nakita ko si joc joc kagabi
may balak tumakbo bilang governor ata dito sa amin

Mark: kapal naman

Jorge: Ang nakaka asar, pwede syang manalo, may sumusuporta sa kumag
sya ang tumatayong anti-mar
ganon sila ka fed up dito ke mar, pati si joc joc, pwede na

Mark: kaya naisipan ni pacquiao na tumakbo din e, kahit sino pwede
sana man lang nag cape na lang si manny
bilang si Pac Man
sakay ng kanyang Pac Mobile

Jorge: at may butler syang dating bouncer ng gay bar, si Albert
at ang sidekick nyang si Ruben

Mark: si joker arroyo si penguin

Jorge: e joker na sya e

Mark: kahit na, mukhang penguin e

Jorge: speaking of, alam mo ba ung farce of the penguins?

Mark: di ko pa napapanood, pero farce na din talaga pulitika dito

Jorge: a basta
minsan sana pwede ung sa 100 bullets
imma cap their ass

Mark: meron na dati ABB
kaso sellout si Alex e

Jorge: onga, small fish lang

Mark: tingnan mo, si ronnie rickets lang ang nag artista. small time talaga

(Mark, like Syd, is a fountain of obscure Pinoy movie trivia, which you'll see presently...)

Jorge: pag ako nag amok, sino kaya papanggap bilang ako
gusto ko si Jorge Estregan Sr.
para talagang may penetration sa sex scenes

Mark: necromancy na yan pare

Jorge: ay
patay na ba si sr?

Mark: tagal na
ayaw mo kay jr.?
sing tigas pero di sing mahal
o kya erap na lang
hehe
tulis din yun

Jorge: hehe
e si rex cortes
balbon din at kulot
o si dick ysrael

Mark: hindi sila pwede
masyado silang astig
ayaw mo si ruby rodriguez?

(tangina mo Mark)

Jorge: tangina mo mark
anyan pala ha
*asaran mode, activate

Mark: parang kate blanchett dun sa bio film ni bob dylan?
hindi mo ba napanood yun?
walang biro

(wtf?!?)

Mark: astig hanapin mo!
she really looks like bob dylan!

Jorge: F U! at STFU!
kung buhay pa si ron jeremy sana
sya
o kaya si peter north, same girth

Mark: jan pwede tyo mag kasundo
ron jeremy na lang
o kya si weird al na naka fat suit
i poportray nya si ron jeremy na pinoportray ka

Jorge: i hate you

Mark: epi quizon in a fat suit?

Jorge: ay low blow
gusto ko si boy2

Mark: o kya yung totally out of the blue na walang pagkakahawig sa yo
ding dong..

(Yes, these are my friends.)

Thanks, Syd, for letting me rant here ;)

4 comments:

  1. Whoa! Finally! The collaboration in effect! First up, it's okay for you to rant here. I guess the site needs politics or something (even if it led to mark owning you in the artista department). by the way, your pic seems too big to fit the space. So I guess baby steps na lang sa construction.


    pero house rules pare! the grammar!!! the text talk!!!

    and damn you! napa-wiki ako ng wala sa oras!

    BUHAY PA SI RON JEREMY!

    By the way, I need to surf the web kasi I don't know "Eat the Rich". Is this some kind of "Magkaisa", "We Are the World" sing-along?

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  2. turd! yan ang napapala mo dahil nag mainstream media ka na! di mo na alam mga old school! eat the rich - it's the only thing they'll ever be good for!

    whoa..cathartic mag blog dito a

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  3. stop ruining jorge's perfect world!! ron jeremy is as dead as star trek you hear?!

    ReplyDelete