2:26pm. Age 50. Half of the world mourns.

Expand to see more words.


I am not a fan of his later years. His bankrupted, alleged child-molesting, ultra-paranoid version is a massive bust. He seems to be asking for his fame back… but then he secludes himself so people would see him as a nutjob.

However, I am a huge fan of his iconic persona. I guess I don’t know an internet user who did not more or less see a friend or a family member go to a costume party posing as “The Jacko”. MTV started its rise and performers saw the need of an effective video to become worldwide superstars through Thriller. From Thriller to Dangerous, created an era where Michael Jackson could do no wrong. Thriller was a hit! Bad was a hit! Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, Man in the Middle, Rock With You, Ben, Scream, Black and White, Gone Too Soon, Heal the World, Do You Remember, and Jam are among his legendary tracks that have made the top spot of the billboard charts (Writer’s Note: While the Thriller album proved his legendary status, the Dangerous album was his best work).

Bar none, he could have been the best entertainer the world has ever seen.

As it stands Madonna is the last icon standing with Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles (at least half of the band) and the King of Pop gone. Like Jackson, Madonna was a colorful entertainer that reached icon status starting in the 80’s. However, unlike Jackson, Madonna constantly revolutionizes herself to catch the eye of the youth… which is what Jacko would have done had not for the scandal.

The scandal basically destroyed his fame and future. Paparazzi choppers and the dreadful sight of a photographer’s lens is Jacko most devious foe. In his final years the world saw him as a child molester… a fag… a scary black guy that’s white… a dad of a set of test tube babies…

A JOKE!

I think he should have died before the scandal broke. Sorry for the morbid statement, but I mean well. If he did, then his legacy should have been more than legendary. Not like this. I bet someone would disrespect his legacy and wisecrack for some “low blow” insult to be funny. I bet after a week, we’ll have a bunch of MJ jokes on how he is doing in the celestial place he will settle in. You don’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone! Francis Magalona died as a nationalistic icon. He would forever be revered as the guy that truly loves anything that is Pinoy. While he did use drugs a few years back… it was part of his rebel persona. Elvis and Sinatra died partly due to their vices. Elvis was an alcoholic while Sinatra had the same vice but he outlived Elvis and most of the Rat Pack.

Jackson’s death came also on the day when original Charlie’s Angels Farrah Fawcett succumbed to cancer. The blond bombshell’s case was rather emotional more than anything. Fighting the Big C, she looks to lose the battle. As a final act, she accepted longtime love and fellow actor Ryan O’Neal’s marriage proposal. She died before she could say “yes”. Their deaths happened almost a month after Kung Fu lead star David Carradine’s demise. Whether this was foul play or a sex act that gone wrong, his contributions to entertainment will forever be in the hearts of his fans.

Michael Jackson is poetry in motion. His stage presence was honed during his stint with the Jackson 5 and which translated to his one-of-a-kind charisma. The “leaning” dance move, the crotch hold, and the moonwalk are amongst his flashy moves. Most of the boybands pattern their moves on MJ while there are a ton of singers in the planet that were influenced by the King of Pop. Justin Timberlake is perhaps his heir apparent but he has yet to make an album that would boost his star magnitude a la MJ. His fashion and trademark moves are often copied but could never capture the hearts of the public.

With his demise, I wish the public would see more of the singer that touched a lot of souls in the world and not the dark side we hoped to never have learned.

RIP, King of Pop.

You too, Charlie’s Angel and Kung Fu: The Legend Continues guy.

Seven games.

Seven games are all we need to annex the inter-department basketball championship.

Do I play? Yes, damn it, I’m the freaking MVP! Enemies fear my presence! Whenever I have the ball, they’ll automatically foul! My favorite shot is called “The Sydrification Process” where I get the ball in the midcourt… quickly dribble in a straight line… eluding all defenders… and then jack up a two-handed layup... in the three-point area.

Word.






(insert canned laughter)


OF-F**KING-COURSE-NOT! Do I move anything like a Michael Jordan? I’ll be happy to even do the moves of a random Division 4 baller (the guys in University of Luzon would laugh at this)! I, divulging into anything athletic is downright laughable! Although I’m not like someone I know that got injured by merely NOT doing anything, I have come to terms that I and motion will never properly co-exist!

While I love sports, I only watch sports! Like I said, I can write anything that I preview that isn’t tennis or some wimpy game! I merely blog basketball games because that’s the only contribution in endearing the sport. This obese, cigar-puffing man can either play ball on a PC or a PSP…

Which is why I am befuddled that my officemates asked me to be their coach.

Actually, I am their interim coach (I will be relegated immediately to the deputy spot when our boss steps in to do the duties). The only plays I know of are the default settings of the NBA Live plays. People laugh when the players call me coach because I am a chickenshit athlete. Try looking at my blogs and search the articles where I tried to run…

Ever seen a blob move?

Anyway, the premiere reason why I was named in the coaching staff is because I blog about basketball. You see, I am book smart. I can identify any player that played during the 1986 PBA season to this day. The first player I remember when I was young was Abet Guidaben and I hated the Ginebra bad boys era and root for either the Beermen or the Hotdogs.

But the smarts end there. Growing up, I was thin and asthmatic. Any quick pace would result to me confined in my bed. When my asthma was gone I started getting fat. I was slow… and fat.

To cut the long intro, last year I coached the team for one game. I had a scorebook in one hand and a pencil on the other. The team lost… badly. The team then was comprised of seven guards, four slashers, and a 40-year-old center. Our team is mostly comprised of writers, artists, and print producers. Our bread and butter involved Isko, our resident Mark Caguioa, to just get the ball and score at will. During defense we only have three players defending because the rest of them are either too tired or too slow. Thanks to Isko and Vlad’s helluva drinking spree in which they forgot to wake up to play, our record stood at 0-4.

However, this year was different. Two players quit the team while the other two shrugged the chance to stay close with their pregnant wives. Isko was tasked in scouting while Athan and Edwin offered suggestions on the players they wanted. This year, we could acquire players that were not in our department. What we needed were a few bigs, and able quarterback, and a hustle guy… which we luckily got.

I coached the first three games and played nice guy as my players tried their best to not punch the referees.

Here’s the thing: I am a fan of height. While we were still loaded in the guard spot, we now have able big guys that could post up and could create mismatches in the middle. I am not a fan of three-pointers, although I mark loud whenever we make one. I would rather want a three-point play than a three-point basket. Also I rely on the fact that all players playing are amateurs, which basically means I would rather risk outside shots so that our defense could concentrate in rebounding. I employ either a zone or a box one defense (four guys playing zone while the other is playing man-to-man on their star player). While our inside play is ferocious, it is our defense that scores the steal/rebound, then long pass, to finish with a fast break.

I always that the most important quarters for me are the second and third quarters because in this 20-minute interval (amateur time), the leading players would dictate the tempo coming to the fourth. Since the tourney requires the team to play its players for a minimum of two minutes, I use the first quarter to pace my best five (just like Yeng Guiao, I do not have a permanent starting five) so that they’ll wreak havoc when the other team is either resting their best five or when their top guys have drained a bit of their energy. I have seven top guys and I give playing time according to who’s hot and who’s not.

We always play on Saturdays. I am guessing the opponents either drank a whole lot of beer or stuffed a whole lot of meat to further strengthen their humongous bellies… just like my players.

As of June 25, we are 3-0. The highest winning margin we had was at 16 points.

Our lowest? Well it happened in our third game where I tried to mix the lineup and inserted some of the best players in the team to the starting lineup. We owned the foes in the first quarter and as I was bringing in the bench in the second, ended up by 14 points at halftime. In the third quarter, lead ballooned as much as 20. And then overconfidence kicked in where we laughed and kid on the bench, in the fourth quarter the lead started to dwindle.

In the last two minutes, our lead melted to one! The laughter turned to anger and you know the saying that “players win games and coaches lose it”? DAMN IT I WAS FEELING IT!

Luckily, we exemplified grace under pressure and we finished the game with a six point margin.

Now you might ask? Why do we need seven games? There are twenty teams divided into four groups. For example… we are Group C. We need to win at least three games in order to advance. Now only two of the five teams in the bracket will advance. The top of Group C will face the second placer in the Group D. The winner will face one of the four teams that advanced to the semifinals where the winners will face the other in a winner-take-all event.

After a winless last year, we have dibs on a semifinal seat. We want that. We hope that. And when it is all said and done, we hope to book the title.

Check that… WE WANT THE TITLE!

(by the way, yes magulo ang camera work kasi si Cindy kumukuha!)




Game ON!


A seldom write film reviews.

And I am not a fan of the Transformers.

I am not a fan of this cartoon, regardless of how 3-D or how lengthy their stories are. Hell, my friends laughed at me because all this time I was calling the lead autobot Octopus Prime! So making me the authority for this film is downright tragic. I would rather make a mean-spirited remark about some random friend than do a review regarding monstrous metals.

Luckily Evilbrain, gave his insights.


The Sydman: I saw the status message… why?


Evilbrain’s status message reads “Damn you, Michael Bay”.


Evilbrain: Wala ka namang interest sa sci-fi so no effect ito sayo.


Actually I’m not really that giddy with regards to films that generate recall via pimping their latest technological props that unfortunately lacks the proper writing.


Evilbrain: Go watch My Little Pony or something.


What’s wrong with My Little Pony?


The Sydman: Sci-fi = date movie. I have come to terms on this especially when I discovered my inner “Trekkie”.


Yes, I go to the movies every week (if Cindy’s shift is 7am to 4pm) and rant at these movies when I found it dumb. However, it was revealed to me that I like Star Trek. I guess this pretty much explains my disdain for The Matrix, Harry Potter, and ugh… Final Fantasy. You see these films premiered during the height of the Star Wars mania. When I was in elementary, my Friday nights were spent with Data, Commander Worf, and that kid from Stand by Me doing slave work for Jean-Luc Picard and Commander Riker.

And whoever was that woman in that ship… pretty hot!


The Sydman: Pero that doesn't mean that I'll watch Terminator. I think ang pinanood namin noon ay Pelham 123. That's crap.

Evilbrain: Well Transformers will definitely suck for you if you’re a fanboy… but to the uninitiated, ok lang. Megan Fox looks hot though.

The Sydman: okay bakit siya crap?

Evilbrain: Basta only Transformers fanboys would understand. Maraming elements na sorta binaboy ni Michael Bay.

The Sydman: I could understand that... as long as I have Wikipedia.

Evilbrain: Eto na lang mukhang mahina ang Deceptecons laban sa humans. Parang after a huge battle and casualties, humans can actually beat the Deceptecons without the Autobots help!

The Sydman: Robot sila diba? Dapat malakas sila!

Evilbrain: Yun nga eh. Kontrabida pa naman sila… dapat malaks sila! E tinatamaan ng bala eh!

The Sydman: Bala is like their body part. Metal to metal is normal.

Evilbrain: That is not the point. Sheesh. Ang highlight ng point ko ay yung giant robot nila na si Devastator was beaten by a human weapon!

The Sydman: Di ko pa napapanood pero I'm all good if you spoil me!


Ayun pala, sigh away from this blog if you don’t want to see spoilers!


Evilbrain: Kumbaga para lang tayong mga langaw compared sa Deceptecons dapat!

The Sydman: Baka na-inspire sila sa assembly line?

Evilbrain: Yun siguro ang tradeoff for the US military to cooperate in making the film… dapat magmukhang malakas ang US army!

The Sydman: Pfft. So this means equally crappy na ang part 3 nito? You see why I hate sci-fi?!? More reasons to make Cindy watch Ice Age 3 than Transformers!!!

Evilbrain: At every second na wala ng robots sa screen at humans naguusap is the perfect time to go to the CR. Parang may sitcom na hindi nakaktawa na nilagay ni Michael Bay para mag ka filler lang sa kwento! Ok lang sana kung entertaining e! Sobrang annoying ng mga characters! Para silang uminom ng tatlong case ng Red Bull!

The Sydman: Even Megan Fox?

Evilbrain: No, Megan is hot.

The Sydman: So Transformers is still cool?

Evilbrain: To some extent, yes. Di ka mabibitin sa mga sumasabog na action scenes at slomo habang naghahalikan o habang umiiwas sa bala.

The Sydman: Anywho, sige, I'll watch this pero I am more leaning for GI Joe.


Yes! Marlon Wayans in an action movie! YEAH!!!

And then Brain gave me more reasons to check out Transformers.



Evilbrain: There. Happy?

The Sydman: What the fuck is that guy doing there???

Evilbrain: That’s supposed to be her dad in the movie.

The Sydman: It’s like optical illusion!


Ever played that game where someone bends over and then you face the sun and with the help of a lengthy instrument, your shadows are doing something that is not wholesome…


Evilbrain: Just crop it out of the way.

The Sydman: No! Daddies don't do that!

Evilbrain: Zoom in. It’s much nicer that way.

The Sydman: Walang kwenta! Madilim!

Evilbrain: Mamaya ka na pumunta sa CR, naghahanap ka na yata ng tissue!

The Sydman: Dude be right back. Endorse lang ako ng script.

Evilbrain: Sure… have fun in the CR.

The Sydman: EENDORSE AKO NG SCRIPT!!!



Watch the film so you can see their failed attempts of making something awesome.

GAME OVER.

This is what creative people do when they are not busy. Check this out.


Our officemate… thinks he’s Elektra.





Yes, he thinks he is the Marvel character that was once played by Jennifer Garner in the big screen.





But we beg to differ.





YEAH.





Aren’t you happy you opened this link?


I have been dehydrated these last few days.

Why?

a) Bad Shit due to overalcohol?
b) Bad Shit due to eating bad food?
c) Bad Shit due to eating actual shit?

Read on.


Hours after the awesome party I attended, me and my dad went to Batangas to make sundo my mother. My mother went to Batangas recently alongside my balikbayan uncle (set to return in July) and my balikbayan aunt (who has since returned to the US) where they went to see their land in Mindoro… and then they went to Boracay before going back to Batangas.

I treated my dad to a breakfast at Jollibee (South Super Hiway branch).

And his order?

“Yung pinakamahal.”

Darn.

We arrived in Sulpoc (a barrio in Tanauan, Batangas) around 10am where I was greeted by my balikbayan uncle, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews. The extended family was in full throttle. There I saw Mark, my tag team partner when, years back, we used to go out and visit the Calamba nightlife without any adult supervision or permission. He is now training and is at the final stages of being a cop. After mingling with my aunts, Mark asked me to join him in accomplishing chores. After we picked up a huge bilao of bibingka, Mark asked me if I had money to buy a case of beer. Yes, in Batangas, it was rare for people to drink San Mig Light. Alfonso, Emperador, and Fundador alongside the typical gin bulag were amongst the favorites of the locale but I don’t like drinking hard so this was pleasing for me.

But yes, believe it or not I was still wasted from the June 13 Drinking Spree so I had to hide afterwards.

Coincidentally, there was another party going on as the cousin’s house adjacent to our ancestral home had girls singing wastedly. Don’t bother thinking if they are hot because I did not see them. All I know is that Mark reported that they were drinking a mix of Red Horse, Ginebra, and Coke. I don’t know what this is called but I hope it sounds something that is “tolerable”.

And yeah, they rented a videoke machine (this is perceived as a great source of income for people living in barrios).

Anyway, while sleeping, I heard a very annoying shriek. It came from the videoke machine. Who F’N knew, that Spoliarium had shrieking verses??? Damn who ever was singing because it forced me to wake up and meet Mark, my older cousin Kuya Oyet, and a bunch of distant cousins for a drinking spree!

This happened while it was a little over 12 in the afternoon.

Ey si-yah, ke kasaya na naman di-neh!

I remember the years before the detection of my bad liver when I would sit in the drinking bench and act out wasted for me to get out of that place. My cousins applaud me because I drink Emperador without a hint of chaser, which is more often than not… is faucet water. The truth is I just can’t stand the taste of hard drinks that filling me up of more liquid could make me barf. Anyway, the beer that I bought was poured in a pitcher were Mark would tagay to us.

Damn right, you read it here.

Yes… ang beer ay pwedeng itagay.

TAGAY!!!





If you look at the videos, you’ll see the overabundance of spirit while the beer is poured. I don’t know if you can notice it but the bag of ice we used here still has plastic. When the ice melts and become tubig with color, Mark would just throw it in some random direction. Plus any unfortunate guy merely walking in some direction that crossed our paths will be taken and held hostage until he drinks some of our beverage.

Did I mention that they open beer bottles via their teeth?

And when we urinate we had to choose if we would face the kubo where the non-urinators had the unfortunate vision of a silhouette of someone peeing… or, face away from the kubo where we could see the highway and the cars that are driving in it?

The tagay was fast and furious and we were smoking like hell.





Then my mother walked in.

I was lucky to have my head not emitting smoke when she came and my cousin threw my yosi in a different, downward direction. When she entered the “Kubo”, she saw me carrying the camera. Actually it was my cousin’s ploy to expose my smoking. She borrowed the camera and she took a picture of me. Luckily the picture was crappy and never exposed anything but she had bad timing. Her other plan was swell, as she led my godkids to my mom’s lap and dragged her to our direction. She asked me if I could take pictures of her and her grandkids.

I said yes… obviously.

I felt glee at the first glance of rain because that made my non-drinking and goody-two-shoes relatives move away from the “kubo”.

And then we heard nothing.

Remember the girls that sung awfully? Well… they left. I went to relieve myself in an actual CR, and when I got back, the girls left. Luckily they didn’t leave crying because I think my cousins saw them and drunken men waving at rural girls riding a tricycle could never be pretty. Anyway, we went to the house where the videoke was in and we sang. The problem is, we ran out of beer. The guy living in the house happily pointed to a couple of gin bulags underneath the drinking table. Call me maarte but I went to Mark and told him that I have an unwritten rule with regards to drinking multiple types of alcohol.





So went and buy another case of beer.

And yes, it was a little over 2 o’clock in the afternoon.

Kuya Julius, Kuya Oyet’s older brother who was going in and out of the drinking table for the lone sake of singing, went over to us at around 4:30 to fetch me because my parents wanted to go to Los Banos. Here’s the thing: every time we go back to Manila from visiting my Batangas folks, we head to Los Banos to swim in the hot springs. The springs we go to had red rocks underneath it and Stabilo Boss-sized fish reside and it would eat the dry skin in your body. It never happened though, because I was snoring at the back of our car.

I wasn’t really drunk though. Here is the clip of me saying bye-bye to my aunts, cousins and their kids:



We arrived at our house nearly three hours later. The trip was fast because aside from the missed hot springs trip, we skipped the usual gas station stopover. We came home at around nine and the first thing I did was lie on the sofa. Hell I even saw the dismay attempt of Purefoods to advance in the 2009 PBA Fiesta Cup Semifinal series! I was hungry came 10pm and I made beef ramen.

Then I called an uwak fifteen minutes later.

Now, what the hell is an uwak?

You go to the CR. You face the toilet bowl. And then you cry…

UUUUUWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

My stomach has been bummed out ever since.

You had been Sydrified.

Game over.
I went to Cindy’s house last Saturday… hours before we went to the Forbidden name’s birthday party…

And a day before I went to Batangas.


Here’s their dog sleeping. Whenever I’m at their house, she roughs me up by scaring me (such as touching me and trying to put her fur on my clothes).

This is my only chance to exploit Lia’s (I doubt the spelling) subconsciousness.

And who said I don’t like animals…


I am keeping an importance to site tidyness so unless I figure out why the blue hell is my homepage littered, the article will continue to be shelved.


Game Over.
My boss would either be happy to have exposure on my blog or I could receive a tower of job orders at my desk.



I am guessing it’s not the former.

(From the Lago de Oro trip, a couple of San Mig Light and a couple of Bacardi shots later, this happened)
He looks like he’s a former dance contestant in some variety show who dreams to be a Streetboy but with more oomph!

He also looks like someone who wants to sleep with a Streetboy.





Minutes after Cindy and I watched the last full show screening of the Night at the Museum 2, we spotted this person dancing.

Give him an armful of lard in the side areas, grant him to ability to impersonate properly and perhaps give him a huge array of slighting and back-handed comments and he could turn into someone I know.

If a couple of people join him, he’ll probably look like an inmate.

Game over.

Last Sunday I woke up around 4:30.

Odd? Yes.

An even odder story? Last Saturday I didn’t go to UST so that I could sleep early.

Yes, I know you are condemning me but it’s for a reason.

Last May 31… I ran.

Yes, I RAN! Effort and hardship for my part, was executed when my girlfriend asked me to join her on a fun run that would make me circle the premises of UP for the sake of kids!

Yes it’s a charity event! Yes, I never thought in a gazillion years that I would partake into one! The last time I did that was when compulsory ROTC forced me to walk from Espana to Quirino Grandstand to attend some ruckus salute for some military nobody!

But you know what… Cindy went with me once when I was with my DOTA friends. And while she didn’t understand why we are cursing at each other, she tried to understand my life… which is why I obliged in doing what she wants!

Our meeting place was 5:30am at Citimall’s McDo branch. I came on time but she didn’t. She now hails along the lines that separate Pasig and Cainta. She tried the long route and ended up eating vehicle congestion. The 5k gun was to fire at exactly 6:05 and she found me at the meeting place mere breaths of the time. By the time we got off the taxi, the gun just fired. After we placed our bags in the baggage counter, we tried to catch up with the main pack with me gleefully carrying my digicam.

Wrong idea.

WRONG IDEA!

For an obese and un-athletic guy like me, running is like a cry for help. Help because I am chased by a dog… or help because my cellphone just got snatched. A mere .20k from the starting line I felt my vain pop. Actually it was the side of my leg because we didn’t warm up! That was the time when I felt that I am dragging Cindy down.

You see, Cindy once ran in a 10k event and she clocked less than an hour. Military men and sprinters were the only ones that usually finish before her. Me there means she has to merely ditch the enjoyment of owning muscle-clad speedsters and nurture a white tub of lard.

It also bit me in the nads that I was calculated things wrong. Remember the time I wrote about my “un-fun” run? I thought for sure that the oval from Sunken Garden to the Oblation area was 4k. Cindy miscalculated it and corrected that it was 2.2k… SHE CORRECTED IT WHEN I WAS GASPING FOR AIR WAITING ARDENTLY FOR THE 2k MARK!

Damn rain didn’t help me as it would later remind me why my nose is stuffy days later the event. The rain also brought the frogs, chicks, cats, and even maya birds to cross the road thereby becoming roadkill.

If you know me, you know that I detest dead things.

To further shame my existence as a strong alpha male, fat women are jogging past me. I see little kids looking at me in an odd manner as if try to tell me…

“Kuya… kaya mo yan…”

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS YOU EVIL DWEEBS!!!

I also had to endure those guys leading the directions heckling me because my hot GF is owning my ass! Here’s what she’s doing: She’ll run as I walk. She’ll then rest… and wait for me as I catch up. Then after hearing me whine she’ll speed up again and wait for me in the next time she’ll stop to rest.

There you get our pattern.

Worse, I charged the battery of my camera and when I picked my camera as we catch up with the other 5k runners, I notice that I forgot the camera’s battery at the charger… which is in my house!

But for what it’s worth, I managed to normally jog when I saw the 4k mark. I wasn’t running like the wind… but I was running past the old people that ran in the 3k event. In the final stretch I asked Cindy if we could sprint. She finished ahead of me… which humored the organizers but I accomplished something:

That was my first fun run and I ended the 5k event in less than an hour (54 minutes to be exact). There I saw the organizer of the K.I.D.S. Foundation event and it was actor/businessman Diether Ocampo with his fiancé that looks insanely hot!

Cindy brought her camera (which she didn’t carry when I picked up mine) and we shot a ton of situationers just to make me feel good.

I doubt I’ll do this if the venue is as far as the southern side of Manila (that means no to Bonifacio High and The Fort), but my 54 minutes… seems… breakable. The next fun run I’ll make sure no “Manong” will tease me to run like a fat man because just like Cindy, I’ll run gracefully like a girl.

Hmmm…

Basta… sobrang bilis.

You just got Sydrified.

Good Times!