Recap: Pebbles wins the right to fight for the Most Awesome Belt and wins it against Unmachoman in an inferno winner-take-all match!

Part 1? Click here:

While I have yet to make visuals for this, I did make a captivating video (My apologies if I violated the Philippine Violators).


Starting things off, Mann Hardly, accompanied by Jazz Hardly, is now in the ring to tell the roster that there would be a tournament to face The Great Pebbles for his most awesome belt! The finals will be played in a PPV that will happen in three weeks time and it is amply called First Blood. Also, there will be a “Best Love Team” belt. This is for the best male and female team in the roster as well as a woman’s title! Back to the number one contender, here are the match-ups:

Bracket 1 will feature:
Chicano, the second runner-up versus Tsong Michaels, the third man eliminated and
Happy Meal versus Mature Boy

Bracket 2 will feature:
Unmachoman, the runner-up will face Skinny Jeans, the second man eliminated and
Estong Cold versus Chocotuna

Bracket 1 will fight tonight while Bracket 2 will fight next week. Then, G.I. Jokla with the Pretty Mean Street Posse heads to the ring. Jokla asks why he is not in the tournament… via a rap.

Yo… yes yes yo.
Yo… yes yes yo.
Why I am not in the tournament?
Or I will make you my ornament!
Yo… yes yes yo.

Diva quizzically claps while Oracle and Ayatollah hides their faces. Mann tells Jokla that he was the first one eliminated in the tournament so that means he does not deserve to be in the tournament. Jokla tells Mann that it was just a fluke. Mann tells Jokla he needs to be careful next time. Not unless there’s a guy in the tournament dumb enough to cross the boss, he will have no chance of entering the tourney. Jokla then calls Mann bias… which was seconded by Ayatollah after she thought she “won” her match last week against Jazz. Mann tries to explain the reason but…

If you smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllll!

Chocotuna comes out. He tells the crowd that finally Chocotuna has come back… to this god-forsaken garbage land! Crowd boos. Choco looks at the girls and tells them they need an alphamale in their group… like him and not some poser like Jokla. Jokla fumes with anger… then he raps.

Yo… yes yes y…


Choco tells him that if he doesn’t stop talking, he’ll take his head, spin it sideways, and put it on his candy ass where the only ones that could hear him are his intestines! Jokla seethes in anger. Then Chocotuna tells Mann how stupid he is for just sitting there and controlling the people! He then calls Mann a roody poo jabroni.

Mann tells Ayatollah that she’ll get her rematch… but she’ll need to find a partner that is NOT G.I. Jokla for her inter-gender match between him and Jazz. Ayatollah tells Mann she’s okay with this and she plans to never… E-E-EVEEER lose A-GAIN (Canadian accent)! But then she asks why it couldn’t be G.I. Jokla. Mann tells Ayatollah that G.I. Jokla will face Chocotuna for the right to face Estong Cold in the tourney! Crowd loves it! Jokla is happy and gives Chocotuna his “you can’t see me” hand gesture. Chocotuna throws a tantrum.

Match 1: Number One Contender’s Tournament – Happy Meal versus Mature Boy

Mature Boy comes out and we again see the soccer girls at ringside. Happy Meal comes out from under the ring. Happy Meal started the contest with high-risk maneuvers with insane quickness. Happy Meal is actually owning Mature Boy. But when Happy Meal punches Mature Boy in the head, he “hulks” up. He throws a barrage of SLOW MOVING punches! Then he whips Mature Boy to the ropes to give him a big boot which automatically led to the leg drop! Mature Boy thought of using his soccer team roster but in the last minute, he held back. Mature Boy wins!

Then The Great Pebbles comes down to the ring and tells everyone that this tournament is great and all, but the winner of this tourney will have an unfortunate end of getting ravaged by Pebbles. Mature Boy then unleashes his women’s soccer team. The Great Pebbles flees the scene because he is allergic to women before they could even hit him in the balls!

Backstage Ayatollah is seething because she couldn’t find a partner. G.I. Jokla volunteers but Ayatollah laughs at his answer and tells him to concentrate on his qualifying match. Then from afar she notices Chicano and Tsong.

Tsong tells Chicano that they were once rivals but now they are in a solid front to bury the hatchet. Chicano agrees. There are a lot of women in the world for them to get hooked on one “Jezebel”. Chicano tells Tsong that with Ayatollah gone, they can now concentrate in dominating the Federation! Tsong will forget that Chicano threw him out of the Battle Royale because he’ll pin him in the qualifying tournament. Chicano tells him that it’s every man for himself when they are in the ring and he promises to beat him. Ayatollah comes in with a fake vomit motion and tells them that this “bromance” is creeping her out. Chicano asks Ayatollah the reason she’s lurking. Ayatollah tells both that she wants one of them to help her out in her tag team match. Chicano tells Ayatollah that they are busy preparing for their match and he storms off. Tsong also exits but he is crying, reminiscing of the times when he and Ayatollah were together.

Ayatollah ransacks the room when Estong and Unmachoman appear. Estong tells Ayatollah she doesn’t need those girls to make her night right! After they help her destroy the Hardly Boyz she’ll probably thank them by coming with them for a drink! Unmachoman flexes his muscles and Ayatollah smiles.

Match 2: Number One Contender’s Tournament – Chicano versus Tsong Michaels

Tsong tries to shake Chicano’s hand but Chicano smiles and slaps it away. Tsong smirks as we go underway! Chicano gets an upper hand early by dishing out power moves. Then Tsong bounces back and compiles a hit list of high-flying maneuvers! Then Chicano evades a superkick attempt with a DDT. As Tsong tries to wake up, Chicano exposes a turnbuckle. Unbeknownst to Chicano, Tsong kips up and superkicks him! He covers Chicano! 1… 2… kick out! Tsong sets him up for another superkick but as he attempts it, Chicano dodges it, Irish whips him to the exposed turnbuckle that Tsong Michaels eats! A spear later and Chicano wins. Chicano celebrates as Tsong is looking devastated. Chicano offers a handshake. Tsong looks dejected but still shakes Chicano’s hand.

Chicano will face Mature Boy in the semis!

Chocotuna is interviewed by Diva Tista and tells the world that Mann Hardly is a tyrant. Unfortunately for Mann, he doesn’t believe in being a teacher’s pet. He is the people’s champion. He is the most electrifying man in sports entertainment! And Mann is just a waste of sperm! Chocotuna takes the mic and tells Diva to listen as the people chant his name! The crowd goes “Yucky, Yucky, Yucky”! Chocotuna shouts “ENOUGH”! Chocotuna tells Jokla to be prepared because he’ll make sure he’ll make his ugly face ven uglier. Mann suddenly comes out, heading to the ring. He then tells Chocotuna he has heard enough and he has made the qualifying match a NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH! Chocotuna is in shock… then he becomes livid!

Match 3: Mixed Tag Match – The Hardly Boyz versus Ayatollah and Unmachoman (w/ Estong Cold)

Before the match starts, we see Skinny Jeans looking at the action through the rafters. He has an I-Pod in his ear and a blade on his hand.

Ayatollah leads the team with Estong having a beer in his hand and Unmachoman showing off his “awesome” body. The Hardly Boyz come out with a huge ovation! Unmachoman and Mann start the match with Unmachoman getting the upper hand. Frequent tags to Ayatollah gives them a rightful advantage. Then Ayatollah misses a Lionsault attempt which prompts Mann to tag Jazz in. Then all four participants crowd the ring. Unmachoman sets Mann Hardly for a punt in the head but Mann evades the punt and then hits Ayatollah. Then Jazz climbs the top rope to unleash a swanton bomb. Estong tries to interfere in favor of Unmachoman but Mann takes out both men! The Hardly Boyz win!

Ayatollah heads to the backstage holding his head while Unmachoman and Estong Cold argue. Ayatollah looks at her side and she sees Chicano and Tsong Michaels grinning. Ayatollah shrieks and leaves. Then Unmachoman and Estong Cold stare down on the duo and walks off.

Match 4: Number One Contender’s Tournament Qualifier – Chocotuna versus G.I. Jokla (NO DQ MATCH)

Chocotuna comes out first. As he poses to the crowd, G.I. Jokla comes out. Chocotuna attacks Jokla as he poses to the crowd. He lays waste of Jokla in the corner by giving him a series of punches. Jokla finally gets offense by throwing him outside and beating him up with a chair. Then when Jokla is charging Chocotuna hits a spinebuster out of nowhere. Chocotuna rolls Jokla back to the ring and sets him up to a People’s Elbow-like maneuver… but instead of an elbow drop it is a buttock drop! It connects and Chocotuna pins Jokla… could only get a two-count. Then Jokla comes to life and hits a swinging neckbreaker and a 5-Knuckle Shuffle! Then as Jokla goes for the FU, Chocotuna reverses the FU into a rock bottom! Chocotuna scores a pinfall but Jokla has his foot on the ropes. As Chocotuna celebrates on the win, Mann Hardly comes out and orders the match to restart! Chocotuna asks Mann why and Mann tells Chocotuna that the ref gave him a quick count. Then he shows the replay… it looked normal but Mann says that the ref made a fast count. Chocotuna is pissed! He then asked for a microphone but before he could get it, the ref restarts the match and all of a sudden, Jokla whacks Chocotuna nine times in the head with a CHAIR! Jokla then successfully pins Chocotuna and it is all OVER!

G.I. Jokla celebrates the win as he bumped off Chocotuna from the tournament! Chocotuna at this point is lying wasted in the middle of the ring. Mann is grinning devilishly.



  1. I must complain sa masyadong manipulative na nature ng alter ego mo dito.. so.. hindi ka takot kay cindy?

  2. nanalo ka diba?

    atsaka masyado pang maaga. basta! dammit, meron kayong character development agad! ayaw mo ba non???

  3. ay ang labo. dude, i had him in a buttlock. sino pa ba makakatayo pag naupuan ko na?

  4. its not a buttlock. basically you just jump off his chest.

    GI Jokla has the ability to withstand pain... like John Cena. Yun nga lang, hindi ganun ka-technical ang kanyang movements.

    basta your character will flourish next week!