Recap: Chicano and Mature Boy advance to the Number 1 contender’s tournament. Chocotuna lost his berth to G.I. Jokla though. This week, two more seats will be filled.

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Episode starts backstage with Chocotuna looking serious. Chocotuna tells the crowd that aside from having a “dumb” name, Mann Hardly is a tyrant. Last week, he was punished for “speaking his mind”. Chocotuna begins to enumerate the various events that happened. The restarting of the Jazz-Ayatollah match to favor Jazz was the turning point and the restarting of his match against GI Jokla was the breaking point. GI Jokla didn’t deserve to be in his spot! Chocotuna tells Mann he is making a terrible mistake in making this happening possible! Chocotuna leaves after he vows revenge.

Match 1: Number One Contender’s Tournament – G.I. Jokla versus Estong Cold


Estong Cold comes out walking to the ring chugging beer. He enters the ring and goes to the four corners of the turnbuckle flipping people. Then he grabs the mic. Estong Cold tells the folks at the back with a thick Chinese accent that he will finish off Jokla to advance the tournament. Then Estong sends his condolences to his friend Unmachoman because even if he wins his match against Skinny Jeans later, he’ll never become the champion. Estong ends the promo by saying “That’s the bottom line, because Estong Cold says so”!


G.I. Jokla comes out with a huge pop. He salutes the audience and he walks towards the ring. Jokla raps at Estong!

You’re Chinese!
You smell like a Pekingese!
I love siopao!
But I hate you!
Yo, yes yes yo!

It was a crappy rap. G.I. Jokla goes to the ring with a swagger. But before G.I. Jokla gets to the ring, Chocotuna runs out and attacks Jokla from behind. Crowd boos. He then tosses Jokla to the ring where he continues to beat him up. Chocotuna gives G.I. Jokla a spinebuster, and then a buttock squash! Then he picks Jokla up and gives him a rock bottom! Then when Chocotuna tries to give Chocotuna the most electrifying move, the people’s buttocks, he sees Estong Cold. During this time Estong dumbfounded. Then he laughs. Chocotuna also laughs. Then Chocotuna offers Estong Cold to beat Jokla up. Estong gladly participates… despite the referee’s plea to send Chocotuna back to the back and stop Estong from doing any harm. Then as Chocotuna picks Jokla up for Estong to hit his Estong Cold Stunner finisher, the referee rings the bell. Estong is in shock while Chocotuna continues to slap Jokla’s nape. Estong has been disqualified! Estong turned white… then turned red when he realizes that it is all Chocotuna’s fault. Chocotuna has yet to realize this. When he looks at Estong, Estong was fuming. Chocotuna was dumb-founded but then he realized what has happened. He throws Jokla to Estong and quickly runs to the back! Estong picks up a chair and follows him.

Back in the ring, the ref raises G.I. Jokla’s hand. Jokla is happy, but is barely conscious.

Backstage, referees and officials stop Estong Cold from hurting Chocotuna. Estong Cold is carrying a chair and he vents out his anger to those that stand in his way. Then he sees Chocotuna trying to call the nearest vehicle to help him out of the arena! Estong runs as he attempts to catch Chocotuna’s… tricycle.

Meanwhile in a dimly-lit part of the arena, Diva Tista is standing by to interview Skinny Jeans. Skinny Jeans is sitting on the floor with an I-Pod in his ears. Diva asks what’s he listening to… and Skinny answers the soundtrack of Twilight. Skinny gives Unmachoman a message: Whenever a bus conductor tells him to get off the bus because he has no money, he is happy. Whenever his head feels heavy because he applied too much wax, he is happy. When he’s sad… he’s happy. Diva quizzically laughs.

While looking in the monitor, Unmachoman is bothered… while attaching weights to his balls. Estong storms the room seething. But this is not their room… this is Mann Hardly’s office. As Jazz offers refreshments, Estong demands for Mann to reconsider the ref’s decision. Mann says he can’t… but what he could give Estong is a match against The Great Pebbles tonight! If Estong wins, he’ll get a shot of the “Most Awesome Belt” next week! Unmachoman explains to Estong that Pebbles has a deep crush on him. Estong tells Unmachoman that he’ll work something out and accepts the match because that’s the bottom line and then he storms out! As he storms out of Mann Hardly’s office, he sees Chocotuna collecting change for the tricycle. Estong curses Chocotuna and chase begins anew!

Match 2: Chicano and Tsong Michaels versus Mature Boy and Happy Meal

This is a random match that featured the opponents of last week teaming up this week.

You think you know me?

El Chicano comes out with mixed reaction. Then Tsong Michaels comes out with a tremendous pop. Happy Meal comes out bouncing while Mature Boy slowly comes down to the ring doing the “Hulk” moves.

Tsong and Happy Meal start things off. They lock up and Tsong goes for an arm breaker but Happy does his aerial acrobatics to send Tsong to the turnbuckle. Happy connects with a turnbuckle splash to Tsong and Mature Boy tags in. Mature Boy whips Tsong to the ropes but Mature Boy misses with the big boot! Tsong then hits a springboard splash and quickly tags in Chicano. Chicano unloads on Mature Boy and drops him. Then Chicano talks dirty to the soccer belles which angered the women. Little did he know that Mature Boy has tagged the ultra-pumped Happy Meal! Happy Meal gives Chicano a barrage of kicks followed by a top-rope leg drop. Happy Meal pins Chicano but Chicano kicks out. Happy Meal then sets Chicano up for his 619 but Tsong comes in to hit an unsuspecting Sweet Chin Music! Then Mature Boy comes in and his soccer belles take out Tsong, who by this team is flanked by a dozen of girls holding him while kicking his balls! Back in the ring, Happy Meal is dazed but standing up and he doesn’t realize that Chicano is ready to hit the spear. The spear connects and its over! Tsong ang Chicano wins!

The PMS Posse are talking in their locker area. Ayatollah explains that the “Best Love Team” belt is a mixed tag belt. While they are a group, they have to fight each other since there are only four women in the roster. G.I. Jokla, currently mending the pain from the earlier beatdown, tells Oracle, Ayatollah, and Diva to hurry up and pick him because the unlucky two people would have to search for suitable partners.

The girls leave the locker room. Nobody picked G.I. Jokla. Jokla is sad.

Chicano and Tsong are happy heading to the backstage when they are greeted by Ayatollah. Ayatollah tells them that one of the two could be her partner for the “Best Love Team” belt. Deep inside Chicano and Tsong know that Ayatollah brings the best in them and whoever gets picked will form become the federation’s most invincible team. Tsong tells Ayatollah that has moved on, and exits out of the frame crying, reminiscing the dates he had with Ayatollah. Chicano tells Ayatollah that he’ll think about and then walks out. Ayatollah is smirking.

Match 3: The Great Pebbles (champion) versus Estong Cold


Estong Cold comes out not minding everyone and then as he comes to the ring, he double flips everyone. Pebbles comes out dancing to the Bollywood beat and posing disgustingly in front of Estong Cold. This sickens Estong Cold gives Pebbles the finger but Pebbles takes Estong’s middle finger and puts it on his mouth. Estong is shocked and tries to wipe Pebbles’ saliva in his trunks… which excites Pebbles. Estong quickly attacks Pebbles and Pebbles strikes back by pinching Estong’s nipples. Then Estong clotheslines Pebbles who falls hard to the mat. Estong tries to punch Pebbles but Pebbles blocks it. Pebbles whips Estong to the ropes but Estong reverses this to a Lou Thesz Press! Now the press looks like Estong riding Pebbles which made Pebbles smile and Estong freak! The finish comes when Estong sets Pebbles up for the Estong Cold Stunner but Pebbles reverses this into a vice grip to the balls! Estong taps out!

Backstage, every man in the room holds their crotch areas with great disdain.

Meanwhile, Unmachoman spots Ayatollah, Oracle, and Diva and speaks to them regarding on their partner problem for the “Love Team” belt. Ayatollah tells him that she had a couple of choices and it wouldn’t be him because the last time they were partners, he punted her face! Unmachoman exclaims that it was just an accident and he won’t make the same mistake again. As proof, Unmachoman adds, they should look at how he’ll decimate Skinny Jeans. He then walks off… with the girls not believing his words.

Match 4: Number One Contender’s Tournament – Unmachoman versus Skinny Jeans

I hear voices in my head…

Unmachoman slowly walks out to the ring looking as baked as ever. Skinny Jeans comes down from the rafters with his trademark black coat and baseball mat. Then he walks to the ring with his head bowed down. When he enters the ring he grabs the mic… and sings Urbandub’s Endless, A Silent Whisper while cutting his wrists. Needless to say, his pre-match antics freaked out Unmachoman.

The fight is underway. Unmachoman with punches to Skinny but Skinny feels none of it and appears to want more. Unmachoman unloads a series of chops that have impact on Skinny but Skinny is enjoying it. Skinny then attacks him from all angles and a stinger splash after a whip to the turnbuckle sends Unmachoman down. Skinny tries for a sharpshooter but Unmachoman gets out of the hold before it was placed. Then Unmachoman quickly gives him a RKO! Unmachoman tries to pin Skinny but he is smiling. Unmachoman picks Skinny up and sends him down with a dropkick. Skinny tries to stand up but Unmachoman picks him up, lifts Skinny over his head, presses Skinny thrice and then slams him to the mat! Unmachoman pins him and its over!

Next week, Unmachoman will face G.I. Jokla while Chicano takes on Mature Boy.

Then a loud shriek was heard. Jazz Hardly comes over to an unconscious Matt Hardly. Matt Hardly is holding his leg. Credits roll.



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