Recap: Unmachoman, G.I. Jokla, Chicano, and Mature Boy reached the Final Four. Chocotuna gave Estong Cold a world of hurt. But the show ended with Mann Hardly receiving a beating from an unknown assailant.

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Show starts at the backstage area, where we can see a serious Chocotuna.

“Finally, the Great One admits his mistake” he exclaims. He tells Estong Cold that they shouldn’t be fighting. Mann Hardly is the one to blame for their problems and he is just manipulating Estong and him to turn on each other! Then Jazz comes out and was about to go to the ring when she sees Chocotuna. She asks Chocotuna if he was the one responsible for Mann’s beatdown. Chocotuna tells Jazz that he may be pissed at Mann but there are a lot of wrestlers pissed at him as well. Chocotuna then tells Jazz that since Mann is out, they could be partners for the “Love Team” belt. Chocotuna then shows of his rock hard gut. Jazz tells Chocotuna that he’s a waste of sperm.

The Hardly Boyz music bangs the arena. Jazz comes out with her usual pyro. In the ring, we see Ayatollah, Diva, and Oracle. Jazz Hardly tells everyone that at the First Blood PPV, the “Best Love Team” belt is up for grabs. The girls had a week to choose their partners. Jazz tells the girls that while the best wrestlers are battling in the number one contender’s tourney, these wrestlers might work double duty in the PPV if they choose these guys as their partners. Jazz asks Diva if she has a partner and Diva directs everyone’s attention on the big screen.

We see G.I. Jokla doing her laundry, scrubbing her house, and paying for her lunch.

Jazz asks Diva what’s this all about and Diva tells Jazz that this is how motivated G.I. Jokla is in claiming the “Love Team” belt!

Backstage we see Happy Meal and Mature Boy looking at G.I. Jokla who is currently hiding his face with a magazine.

Ayatollah is next. She tells everyone that she is Ayatollah… the IRON CHICK! She is friends with most of the girls in this match but she wants to win the belt as well. That’s why she getting the services of…


Tsong Michaels comes out of the stage shaking everyone’s hands. Then he comes to the ring and grabs a mic. Before he could speak…


El Chicano heads to the ring mightily pissed. He asks Tsong “What the hell”? Tsong tells Chicano that while Chicano could have a match at First Blood, he doesn’t. Tsong says that this is strictly business, and he assures Chicano… and assures Ayatollah as well. Ayatollah tells both that even though they hate her for shattering their hearts, they couldn’t resist her. Then Ayatollah asks Jazz how Mann is doing. Jazz tells them that he is fine but whoever did this must expect payback! Ayatollah then asks her how that will affect the Hardly Boyz at First Blood. Jazz tells Ayatollah that it won’t because her tag team partner will be…


The Great Pebbles comes out dancing. Ayatollah is in shock. Chicano is laughing at Tsong who’s also in shock. Pebbles comes to the ring throwing naughty smiles at Tsong who’s currently disgusted. Jazz tells Ayatollah that the Hardly Boyz have enlisted the services of Pebbles because if you think about it… he’s hardly a boy. Everyone is in shock, but then they notice Oracle. Ayatollah asks Oracle why is she silent and then Oracle predicts that her team will win “The Best Love Team” belt. She has enlisted her “brother” who is very meaty. Ayatollah asks Jazz if she knows this “brother” and Jazz tells her he’s a recently signed wrestler that she knows nothing about. Ayatollah tells Jazz that they should know this fellow because it would be unfair for them if they can’t “scout” Oracle’s brother! Jazz agrees and she puts the brother in a six-man battle royale match with Pebbles, Tsong Michaels, G.I. Jokla, Happy Meal, and Chocotuna. Jazz then tells everyone but Chicano to leave the ring because the semifinals of the Number Contender’s Match between Chicano and Mature Boy is up next! Tsong wished Chicano good luck and leaves the ring. Chicano smirks.

Match 1: Number One Contender’s Tournament – Chicano versus Mature Boy

Chicano is getting ready when…


Mature Boy comes out with a bandanna and a robe. He goes to the ring where he takes off his robe to reveal his shirt. Then he tears the shirt off revealing a very “mature” body. As Mature Boy points to the crowd, Chicano is clapping.

The bell rings and Mature Boy gains quick advantage. At one moment he tries to Irish whip Chicano but Chicano reverses the whip, trips Mature Boy, and gives him a standing moonsault. Chicano attacks Mature Boy’s knees and gave the part a threshold of submission maneuvers. Then Chicano whips Mature Boy to the turnbuckle and he hits Mature Boy in the head. But all of a sudden, Mature Boy seems redeemed and he begins to hulk up. Suddenly he points at Chicano and unloads a couple of body punches. Then as Chicano stood dazed, Mature Boy calls her soccer babes and instructed them to do their routine “kick the soccer balls to Chicano’s balls”. Three soccer balls later, Chicano falls down favoring his balls. Mature Boy attempts to pin him but Chicano kicks out! Mature Boy then set Chicano up for a top-rope leg drop but he misses! Chicano then connected with a X-factor, by a spear, pins him, and wins the match!

Unmachoman looks at the monitor and tells Estong that he will win his match tonight. Unmachoman mentioned the fact that El Chicano is nothing but an unsatisfying man blocking his way to greatness. Estong told Unmacho that they should be fighting each other tonight if not for that numbskull, Chocotuna. Estong exclaimed he will get his revenge on Chocotuna! At this point, Chocotuna was tip-toeing away.

Match 2: Singles Match – Skinny Jeans versus Zankoko B. Ware

Zankoko B. Ware is just an enhancement talent that needs to earn a contract via a win. He comes out with a parrot in his shoulders and flapping his arms as if he is a bird. Then…


Skinny Jeans comes out wearing a black coat and a baseball bat. He comes to the ring and sits at the turnbuckle, pointing his bat at Zankoko B. Ware. The bell then rings but before they engage, Skinny Jeans grabs a mic. Skinny Jeans recalls his youth and tells the crowd that as a child, he would blade himself to sleep because no one would blade it for him. While kids his age would play robots, most of his toys are made of stainless steel like swiss knife, nailcutter, and scissors. He also remembers when he hugged the back of the refrigerator because he wants to feel alive. Then he cries. Zankoko B. Ware gets out of the ring… hugging his brother who is at ringside. Skinny Jeans wins by countout.

G.I. Jokla comes in to the “Hardly Headquarters” where he saw Mann in a hammock talking to The Great Pebbles to take care of Jazz. At this point, Pebbles and Jazz are looking at an Avon catalogue. Jokla asks Mann if he knows who did this to him and Mann exclaims that while he didn’t see the culprit, he’ll make sure that he will get his revenge once the investigation reveals the perpetrator. Then Mann asks Jokla why is he there and Jokla politely asks them if he could be excused from the battle royale because he will be fighting Unmachoman in the number one contender’s tournament later in the evening. Mann respectfully declines Jokla, saying that it was he who requested to participate in the “Love Team” tournament and then “politely” asks him to leave the room. Diva Tista enters and then tells Jokla that Oracle’s brother’s name is Bambam Bungalow and he is a big, red, meaty, monster! Jokla goes out worried while Pebbles looked interested.

Match 3: 6-Man elimination pinfall battle royale – Tsong Michaels versus G.I. Jokla versus The Great Pebbles (champion) versus Chocotuna versus Happy Meal versus Bambam Bungalow.

This match ends when a wrestler eliminates all of his opponents via pinfall.

The Great Pebbles enters the ring first, with his Awesome belt in his shoulders. Then G.I. Jokla comes out with a rap saying…

“Tsong is a heartbroken kid
Happy Meal looks like a kid
Pebbles might be a giant gay
But Chocotuna’s ass has Bengay
Yo, Yesyesyo! Yo, Yesyesyo!”

Crowd boos because of his awful rapping. Meanwhile… BOOYAKA, BOOYAKA! Happy Meal comes out from backstage. Then followed by Tsong Michaels… and Chocotuna.

But then… silence.

All of a sudden…


A huge mass of fire engulfed the stage as Bambam Bungalow enters. He is huge and he has a mask on, further hiding his big, red, meaty identity. Pebbles looks more manly at this point, as if he senses that Bambam is a challenge. After the bell rings, Jokla all of a sudden, lays down! Everyone looks disenchanted. It seems he’s asking for someone to pin him. All of a sudden everyone stomps on his prone body! He eats a choke slam from Bambam Bungalow, a skull chop from Pebbles, a springboard moonsault from Happy Meal, a superkick from Tsong and a People’s Elbow on Chocotuna. Then Tsong covers him for the elimination.

Then Estong Cold comes out to the ring with a flaming barbwire bat in tow and Chocotuna flees the ring, to the audience and out of the arena as Estong Cold chases him. While this was happening all of a sudden, the meaty Bambam tombstones Pebbles, and afterwards he choke slams the Great Pebbles and pins him, eliminates him, and throws him out of the ring! Pebbles is in shock! Bambam stares down at Pebbles. While this was happening, Tsong Michaels counters a springboard crossbody attempt from Happy Meal to lead him towards a superkick! Tsong then eliminates Happy but the celebration proved short lived as Tsong walks into a choke slam! Bambam pins Tsong and he wins the battle royale!

At the parking lot, Chocotuna is screaming like a little girl as Estong chases him with a flaming barbwire bat. Chocotuna is screaming his apologies but Estong wants nothing regarding his apologies.

Ayatollah and Diva asks Oracle how did that meaty guy became her brother. Oracle tells them that when she was little, her brother played with fire and was tortured. Ayatollah asks if Bambam’s face was burned which explains why he needs to hide his face with a mask. Oracle says that her brother was caught…

… raping a chicken.

Worse, the chicken is male.

Ayatollah quizzically looks at Oracle while Diva looks delighted.

At this point, we see G.I. Jokla helped to the locker room by the EMT’s. G.I. Jokla exclaims that he can’t wrestle in this condition. Jazz knocks on their locker area to tell Jokla that his match is next. Jokla tries to get up but falls down immediately. Ayatollah is still speechless while Diva asks Oracle if perhaps the chicken was gay.

Match 4: Number One Contender’s Tournament – Unmachoman versus G.I. Jokla


Jokla is helped by the EMT’s who throws him to the ring. Then Jokla lies on the ring, looking at the ceiling.


Unmachoman comes to the ring, looking at the prone Jokla. Then Unmacho helps Jokla up and then hits him with a RKO! Unmachoman smirks and the pins Jokla. 1… 2… KICK OUT! Unmachoman is in shock! All of a sudden Jokla comes to life. He punches and kicks and punches and kicks and punches and kicks Unmachoman! Unmachoman is down and in shock but then Jokla collapses. Everyone is in shock! Unmachoman stands up looking all confused. He taps Jokla with his foot… twice. When he isn’t moving, Unmachoman picks Jokla, presses him in the air, and slams him to the mat! He pins him and its over!

Unmachoman will face Chicano in the Finals!

Unmachoman celebrates his victory. Then he grabs a mic and tells Chicano to come out. Chicano comes out carrying a bag of leaves. Chicano asks Unmachoman why he called him up. Unmachoman says that at First Blood, he will find out why Unmachoman is the best. Chicano then asks Unmachoman why he is blabbing his mouth! When Unmachoman tried to address the question Chicano all of a sudden spears Unmachoman! Chicano tells Unmachoman that he will never become his bitch and then tells Unmacho to be prepared for First Blood!

Then Chicano gets a chair and belts Unmachoman in the head.

Chicano leaves Unmachoman in a bloody pulp.



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