Smoking = Milk

It’s been two weeks since I last puffed a cigarette. I need to restrain myself because I fear my asthma would re-exert itself if I didn’t limit the habit (using the word limit so I won’t eat my words eventually).

But what did I do to actually limit the habit?

I learned from an officemate to substitute something you like with something else. He has stopped smoking for a year now. But in his early stages of stoppage we always see him in the smoking area eating ice cream. Yes, he would still crack witty jokes (do I look like Bam Aquino?), and even if he disagrees on this, that type of Behavioral Science stuff influenced me.

But thing is, I can’t eat ice cream everyday. It is not in my nature to want frosted stuffs. Besides, ice cream and yosi mix! Yup… it does. So what could be my “nicotine patch” to temporary solve my craving?


Yes, milk.

M-I-L… oh screw this!

My cousin grew 6’2 and while he suckily played basketball for the College of St. Aquinas in Legazpi, Albay, there is not a day that he misses drinking milk (I call him Kuya Nonong or "Nongoloid the Mongoloid"). I tried this in college and this was during my “somewhat thin” stages. When I was in college, I used to buy Cowhead in the grocery. This actually stopped when I was working. This was when I doubt buying those milk drinks in 7-11 because I didn’t think they are worth it.

Fast forward to 2009. While I tried drinking milk while smoking, it seems like it could never mesh with each other. That is one reason why I chose dairy as my smoking “surrogate”. Also, I like drinking milk… especially those unsweetened, non-fat types.

Another thing, and I feel that this is the most important part… bar none I have an ultra-hunky personality. There, I said it. People look at me and they tremble because women fear me and men want me.


I think I made a paragraph booboo.

Anyway, imagine this hunky man, glistening to the sun’s shine only to swig a sip of milk from a tetra pack?

This… my friends… is what you call a girl repellant.

Fact is, I am enjoying this milk-drinking thing. The only complaint I could utter is I’ve been farting with extreme noise lately and my poop is ridiculously long.

Anyway, maybe I’m addicted to milk now?

Game over.


  1. alam ko mahilig ka talaga sa man milk e

  2. dude are you lactating while reading this?

  3. "Wala ng hihigit pa sa gatas ng AMA." Kahit sa chinese may ibig sabihin yan!

  4. Hmmm...

    Man milk? Isn't it just pouring blood?