Sharlock Holmes: The Review

I wanted to watch this movie last Saturday but situations forced me to do otherwise (*cough* TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE CINEMAS *cough*).


How did I rate this movie?

Elementary, my dear readers…


Before James Bond became Britain’s best contribution to the world in terms of awesome, manly figures (Shakespeare looks kinda gay), extraordinaire detective Sherlock Holmes is the nation’s numero uno alpha male.

What I like:

Guy Ritchie: I thought I became mentally retarded when I saw his name as the director. All I thought was “Hey, this was that daft prick that ruined himself by doing a crappy Madonna art film”? You know what, I have to apologize to this guy because it seems like Sherlock had a lot of “Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” in it. This was the first thought when I saw the fight scene and the use of that “stop music, then increase volume of the SFX” artistic undertaking. I AM SO SORRY TO BE AN IGNORANT BASTARD TO NOT GET MY FACTS RIGHT THAT GUY RITCHIE IS NOT MERELY THE PERSON THAT DIRECTED SWEPT AWAY! From the editing, the sound engineering, the cinematography and the fight scenes… what I saw was top notch brilliant.

Hans Zimmer: The music recognizably Union Jack, was overpowering here and I don’t mind this. You see, this is what a Sherlock movie should be like. I like the way that it seems like a traditional bard-like feel and despite its not rock or the tunes aren’t danceable, it is bouncy. It gives you the English feel especially during fight scenes.

The Actors: The difference between Robert Downey and Johnny Depp is that Downey can be funny and snotty (Iron Man and Tropic Thunder) at the same time. Depp’s version of funny is childish and comical (a la Jack Sparrow and Willy Wonka). Robert Downey Jr. is a freakishly amazing actor and I hope he doesn’t return to his vices again! Mark Strong was a great choice as Lord Blackwood. He seems to have that scary Bela Lugosi eyes which can frighten the hell out of people. I like the way he didn’t became a wimp when he was exposed as a mere mortal with no powers. Jude Law is a good choice for the role although when I saw him alongside Downey, I knew the Watson character wouldn’t really be a patsy that would always follow Sherlock without any hint of doubt. At the start of the flick, I really didn’t like Rachel McAdams as Irene Adler because… I just didn’t feel like it. I wanted a hotter person to play the role a la Olivia Wilde, Elizabeth Banks, or even Sienna Miller. But hey, at the end, you saw how well he developed that character.

The story: I will relay what I hate about the story at some parts but this will be more of a wishlist than a criticism. I like the way how Downey’s extremely observing mind pisses everyone off. They depicted a darker version of Sherlock that it could rival the Dark Knight (minus the amazing actors and story). How they mixed science is believable and the way they primed people up for the sequel is superbly making people giddy.

Robert Maillet, the giant French dude playing as Lord Blackwood’s henchman, is formerly a WWE wrestler working under the ring name of Kurrgan (from the Truth Commission and The Oddities).

I like the fact that they used actual science and a tag team submission maneuver to finish of this guy.

What I hate:

The start of the story: I don’t really hate the story. I LOVE IT! But there is this lingering feeling that I want Watson to suffocate on Holmes first which will urge him to find Mary. You see, Mary looks like the type that adores Watson’s adventures. I want the moving out thing in the sequel, although the end of the movie justified this. Again, it could be just me but I envisioned Watson a la Don Quixote’s Sancho. In this film Watson had a spine and he was more of Sherlock’s equal and the only reason he goes where Holmes is in is to quench his passion for pain.

CSI: I love the show and I love the fact that Sherlock was the original in these here grounds BUT, unless you know how to sort downright gibber, some words could be hard to understand or hard to identify. You see, it took me a while to understand that “Doiley” is actually a word. Anyway, this would be summed up in my final inquiry.

Language barrier: I wanted to understand everything they were saying but the fact that there are no subtitles for this (it’s not like I wanted subs in it) constricted my appreciation on some of the solutions Holmes pointed out and I had to depend on the visual illustrations to make sure I understand what I’m looking at. Ritchie and the others didn’t see this since they are merely speaking their tongue but there is a reason why US English is better appreciated than UK English.


Sherlock Holmes is an awesome film. I hope it won’t suffer the sophomore slump. My guess is that Holmes super-nemesis Moriarty would be a bigger enemy than Blackwood because unlike Blackwood, he displays more aesthetics than brutality in killing a chomp.

I am looking forward to that.

Game over.


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