Belittling the 2010 NBA All-Stars: The Eastern Division


I will not even try to discredit LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, and Dwight Howard.

But I will try to demean the other guys.

First up… THE EAST!

Hey look at me, I’m just some poser that dares to tell everyone how unimportant their favorite player. Well, if you think I’m trying to belt out some enigmatic statement to back my ramblings… good luck! Nope, I have no such thing. However, I have some sort of absurd sentences to make you approve or disapprove my sentences.

Game starts now!


The Starters!

LEBRON JAMES: He is the reigning MVP. Not putting him in an All-Star lineup means there is something wrong in the NBA.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

DWIGHT HOWARD: Remember when we used to see Patrick Ewing, David Robinson, Hakeem Olajuwon… hell, even a vintage Shaquille O’Neal and Yao Ming? Howard is such a dominating defensive force but he needs to have a breakout offensive season. But fortunately for the Daily Double, the current NBA landscape loathes frontliners that doesn’t own an outside shot.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

DWYANE WADE: Sure, he scores well and perhaps that Miami championship was enough to catapult him in superstar glory but one thing the Flash has that the other lack is their ability to sell merchandize.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

ALLEN IVERSON: If Wade sells shirts after that superb championship run with the Heat, Iverson has been selling shirts for over a decade because of his charisma. Imagine how fans reacted when he said he was about to retire. His charisma and drawing power is stellar, which is something Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis lacked. Either way, with Shaq out of the All-Star, there is a need to a put a random vintage token guy. Iverson, who is currently playing like a shell of his former self, is the correct answer for this.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL… BUT THERE’S A CATCH

KEVIN GARNETT: I love this guy. He is one of my All-time faves. And this fact makes it hard for me to batch him with Iverson. Yes, the fans had no one to pick in this current flock of uncharismatic upstarts that KG was voted in even if he played sparingly in the course of the season. Still, I won’t say that he’s washed up because guys like him go berserk during the games that matter.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL… BUT THERE’S A CATCH


The Reserves!

CHRIS BOSH: He should be guy playing in the starting squad (subbing for Garnett). You know what, the only saving grace for CB4 is to do away of Toronto. I hear New York is nice…
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

PAUL PIERCE: I like this pick. The Truth is the heart and soul of the current Boston franchise and he has been consistent in his numbers since his rookie year. He may not be a starter but he’ll relish that reserve spot.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

JOE JOHNSON: Atlanta is “hawking up” the East, and with how their nucleus looks right now, they’ll do that for a long time. He is the team’s leader and he wants the ball whenever crunch time creeps in. Remember when we said it was a terrible idea for him to leave Phoenix when he was dealt to this formerly down and out team?
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

DERRICK ROSE: Last year’s rookie of the year is this year’s youngest All-Star. I must say that while I like Luol Deng to finally get an All-Star berth, Rose finally accomplished something that Ben Gordon couldn’t – make the All-Star as a Bull.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL

GERALD WALLACE: Like Joe Johnson, he stuck in Charlotte and helped the team to its current surge. He matured and people are noticing it. I’m seeing a “Mitch Richmond” and “Michael Redd” type of All-Star appearances (meaning a good guy from a bad team) in the offing for this guy in the future.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL… BUT THERE’S A CATCH

AL HORFORD: Some are saying Horford doesn’t deserve the spot. I am pretty iffy myself but you have to see what others are seeing. He is the main big of Atlanta’s current East domination. While I wanted David Lee or Joakim Noah to grace this, you can’t also discount Horford.
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL… BUT THERE’S A CATCH

RAJON RONDO: I am a Boston fan but I’m not really a fan. I was one of those guys that when Rondo was racking up triple-doubles in the playoffs WISHED Stephon Marbury would blossom to displace out of that spot. Being an All-Star for Rondo could be good in some way… since he’ll be a great trade bait for other teams. I am so sorry, Boston fans. Really, really sorry! But if this could give Boston a CP3 or a Deron, then this is good, right?
Rate: ALL-STAR MATERIAL… BUT THERE’S A CATCH

Next in Line!

DAVID LEE: How can an All-Star be without a New York player??? This baffles me and even if NY’s really icky slate, they should have at least sent a person to backstop their franchise. David Lee is playing under a crazily unflattering contract but he still is getting the attention. If the Knicks can’t get LBJ, then the Knicks could sign him and trade for the Raptors for Bosh. The only rejoicing moment for the Knicks is with Nate Robinson aiming for his record-breaking title yearnings.


Anyway, the Western side will see daylight when I… get my laziness checked.

Until then,

GAME OVER!

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