Alas Stress!

There are no other words to soften this.

I am seriously stressed out.

I work best when I cram. I have the urgency to destroy whatever shyness, procrastination, and exhaustion I possess. But almost lost my bout with hypertension and succumb to the fact that breaking down was the next possible route. I never thought of exchanging my current job for some form-filling, pencil-pushing yes man whose only way to personalize his work is by filling up signatures and making excuses on why they were late or absent.

But damn was I seriously flushed this week!

I am creative when I am in my element. I don’t like being boxed. I hate it when people judge me because of my decision-making. I don’t hate them, but I always want to score on the perfect deliverable because I like to win crowds. That’s why I like to perfect my sports and comedy copywriting. It’s not like I such in drama and corporate-sounding stuffs but I believe that I can never be better in all other categories that why I have to be great in some categories.

But when the going gets tough I try my best to keep up with others regardless of how stacked are the odds against me. I remember the days when I act big in a small but underachieving universe. I niche myself to a particular product and it was easy for me to create awesomeness. I might look like a dumb, foolhardy prick at the start but I make sure I deliver when it mattered. I want to be Michael Jordan… or Kobe Bryant in the dying seconds (disclaimer: Kobe Bryant # 24 and not # 8). Sure, I might have a John Paxson, Steve Kerr, or a Derek Fisher at the side but I’ll make sure I get the W when it was all said and done.

I hate myself for failing to live up with the expectations I set. I want to work under the pressure cooker but I also want to have GRACE under pressure. That Monday, at the peak of the battle, my face was sweaty, my hands were trembling, I felt very groggy, and at the back of my head I always think that I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I know that my work will always have revisions, re-positioning, other extraneous variables and fluctuating schedules… but I hated myself when every time I felt stress I had to check my chest to see if I’m okay.

After four not-so-glorious days, my mind-numbing dilemma has ended.

What are left on my agenda are the small projects that were bumped off but I still need to finish before the month ends.

If you ask me though, I want another shot of this stress-filled week so I could train myself and further grow.

I leave you with the work I thought I did well and I was proud off because I know it’s hard for me to botch sports copywriting.

Game over.


Post a Comment