How to score a Korean chick




My friend is trying to do something that others have experienced and others have dreamt upon.

He will try his best to score… a Korean girl.

Years of watching Korean sitcoms and miniseries from Arirang and KBS World… plus the numerous movie titles that I have watched could have paid off if I was the one doing this! I remember when Geist got me to watch Woman versus Woman in Arirang and it got me hooked. It leads to me to watch a Korean sitcom called Nonstop (ABS-CBN tried to mimic its look and feel and Gokada was born). Currently, I am addicted to Two Days and One Night, a variety/travel show that involves actors doing insane tasks so that they can sleep well, eat without hardship, and live comfortably.

My research was also based on the numerous taxi drivers I have ridden with their countless stories of drunken Korean girls and their drunken Korean boyfriends.

I also had real-time experience when I went out with my officemates because our Korean OJTs wanted to treat us. I forgot their names but I think they are boyfriend and girlfriend by the name of either Lee or Kim.

Possibly their names could also be Jun, Baek, Tae, Moon, or Song.


(Inset: This is Sandara Park’s UNO Magazine photo shoot)

Anyway, since my balls to scour foreign meat were happily cut off (thanks primarily to a loving relationship), I happily shared my insights and research to my friend so that the next time he goes to a random Tomas Morato, Metrowalk, Makati, or The Fort bar, he will be prepared.

I will just zero in on the facts I know.

Note: Imagine you are Filipino hooking up with a Korean chick. That’s all.


Blind Dates – When they are young, they are committed to a certain clan. When they reach twenty, they are pressured to date. When they thirty, they are begged to choose a guy before they reach menopause. Throughout their lives, they are forced to hook up! While they are more lenient than the Chinese in terms of interracial family settings, they prefer to have their family intra-racial. So pretty much random Filipino guy… you are merely a booty call. This is why these chicks are seen hanging out in joints where techno and trance music are audible.

While a flock of Koreans could diss you and lay waste on your being, once you connect, expect something awesome.

Diplomacy – How little English does she know? Does she know Tagalog words? Is the chick from North or South Korea? Will she cry rape the minute she sees herself naked in a motel next to you? Will she cry to her embassy when that happens or will she hunt you down and attack you with her taekwondo? These things are important more than anything. Don’t even think of pulling those cheesy pickup lines because the last thing you need to do right now is complicated her thoughts with puns and idioms. It could work… they just won’t get it. Be sure to know her rights as well.

Submissive – You have to blame this on their culture dating back when the downfall of the Gojoseon Dynasty spawned the Goguryeo, Baekje, and Silla Dynasties. Since they are man-centered, girls have been potty-trained to follow what a man wants. Whenever I watch a Korean drama, the girls are demanded to quit their jobs and become housewives even if they own a high-ranking position when they get married. Men detest their wives if they secure more money than them. Women who reject thought are selfish and demonic. In terms of hooking up, they will readily do anything if the man gives them powerful urges to give up their inhibitions. That hentai sounds you secretly hear when you check out Japanese porn? They’ll do that if you hit the right notes. We had a Korean couple living near our house. They would often fight in Korean but sometimes they would scream at each other… but it’s like watching Urotsoki Doji with a large house blocking the action! This is the same MILF that seems ultra shy and distant whenever my mom tries to talk to her.

However, one single component must be used to further accentuate this fact.

Insecurities – Oh shit, did the girl just say that she misses her homeland? Did she say that she misses her family, her friends, and her boyfriend she’ll readily cheat for you? Oh fuck, does she have daddy issues? Did you by any chance, ignite these wave of thoughts? Just like any other women, Korean girls can be lonely and depressed at various points of their lives. However, Korean girls seem to be “extra depressed” than others. They tend to act crazy when they can’t get what they want. This is one of the reasons why some of their famous actresses claim their lives at an early age. The chick from Attic Cat and My Husband’s Woman are fine examples. A certain horny boy can attack a chick by releasing her insecurities in the open and use this to his advantage.

Beer – I remember when our chick OJT drank beer. Regardless whether it’s San Mig Light or Red Horse… they’ll drop it all down in an instant. They also tend to mix hard drinks with beer… a lethal combo that should ignite hurl and tipsiness. I don’t know why Koreans like to chug stuff down as if it’s their last beer but those little eyes and ultra-blushed cheeks will ignite something awesome in… say two hours later? They also sip their beer using a straw whenever they are not gulping it on the bottle. Last time I checked, mixing and straw-ing alcohol are terrible ways to keep yours out of a drunken haze. This is the main reason why you can always see a bundle of Korean chicks hurling at the side streets, bathrooms, and parking areas of the bars. But a word of the wise: maybe you need to regulate their alcohol intake since it’s better to do kinky things when they are conscious.


I won’t even bother writing about the kinky kinds of stuff they do. All I know is just like any man or women in the world… everyone has “that” side.

I hope he doesn’t succeed though. I wanted him to… but my friends had this bet where we vote against it. So while some of us are telling him that he has the machismo to blow her brains out of Seoul, I tell him that her people are naturally stingy (when the taxi fare says 62.50, they will pay exactly 62.50 instead of rounding it to the nearest 10), she has a spicy breath (I love Kimchi though), and she has the tendency to taekwondo his ass if he insists on the words him, her and sex in the same sentence.

Yes, 20 pesos is hard to come by these days.

But the fact is, the girl is also in her final two weeks in the country. If I’m observing from the facts properly, perhaps she is also trying to score a “foreign” man. This is why she loves the nightlife which unfolded on my friend.

Maybe in her mind, she is trying to score a Filipino man!

She doesn’t have to think so much though. Filipino men, just like other races in the world, adore beautiful women!

But not so much with regards to those with happy relationships!

Ahem.

Game over.

14 comments:

  1. but we cant relate the real korean girls with the drama girls right?
    after all, it's DRAMA! not real life.. lol =P

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Ken

    Whatever it is, KBS is seriously pimping their man-centric culture with their series!

    Or if women are portrayed as strong, they are either tomboyish (the iron empress) or its a comedy (all about marriage, i am sam).

    hell even coffee prince and princess hours have seriously odd chicks (although they are portrayed by the same girl).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ask any taxi driver and they'll tell you of their share of Korean meat.

    You're right with the "beer."

    Oh. You MUST include Scooters. If you have one, ask a Korean gal out on a scooter ride and you have her.

    Now that's being too racist. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hehe i kind of censored that part. i also know what taxi drivers do when they don't have money to pay for the fare. :)

    pero nanggaling sayo yan ha!

    hehehe! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahaha.

    I kept hearing the same stories from taxi drivers. They do have one issue - "olfactory".

    It's the circle of life. I bet a Korean guy has already posted something about "How to score a Filipina chick." He might mention the following:

    1. Act like you are a Korean Superstar.
    2. Tell her you know or you're related to [blank], a member of a Koream boy band.
    3. Ask her to be your English teacher.

    Sweeping but probable. (For the fun of it, though.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ^^ haha! oh yeah! i know the thing about the english teachers! and the taxi drivers as well! they have that certain smell...

    but that's just me quoting people.

    hehe!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good stuff dude! Great blog too!

    ReplyDelete
  8. i have nothing else to say "the sydrified!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. francis v?

    hmmm... panahon na para gumawa ng aftermath sa kwento na to! hehe!

    ReplyDelete