John Morrison: The Rock Star Traceur

I remember a year ago when I was involved in a TV project that involved parkour.

You can see the write-up once you clicked this.

Actually, the more I gain weight… the more I think I should be learning parkour. What it does is teach discipline… that a two-piece chicken joy cannot rightfully educate.

Sure, pro wrestling is as real as Superman or Batman. But there is nothing fake about their conditioning. Ever since Hulk Hogan exposed his “pythons” having a six pack is mandatory. Gone were the days of the fat guys… unless you are billed three hundred fifty pounds and up.

John Morrison has an eight-pack.

Damn him.

I remember when it thrilled the fuck out of me when these guys were crawling the suspensions of Quiapo Bridge as if it was well… NOT THE QUIAPO BRIDGE. They were doing cartwheels insanely like they had wires attached to their backs. I also remembered when they hopped on almost everything. Though it was dangerous, the confidence that oozed on their movements was enough to make jaws drop!

Media has been kind to this discipline… the most notable of which is parkour guru David Belle’s District 13. It captivated a lot of people and one of those mesmerized was John Morrison. Morrison is a WWE wrestler whose look was inspired from rock star legend Jim Morrison. He was once an ECW champion and he has been knocking on the main event scene for some time now. His mic skills aren’t great… but his in-ring ability is fantastic. He is a high flyer. His finisher, called the Starship Pain, is a split-legged corkscrew moonsault. Only the graceful could do the move so no… Kevin Nash or Scott Steiner will find it hard to execute.

In a recent Raw, he showed off his parkour skills on live TV. While parkour doesn’t like to get pimped as if they are flipping freaks, this should amount to something for the discipline. There is even talk that he’ll probably perform the moves in his in-ring arsenal.

Dubbed the Monday Night Delight (I am the No Night Delight), the Shaman of Sexy (I am the Sheman of Sexy), and The Guru of Greatness (I am the Guru of Geekness), he could be the ambassador to give parkour a mainstream audience…

Especially the women wrestling fans who were converted because they saw Morrison’s body!

Game over.


Post a Comment