I DON'T CARE? AARGH!?!


I CAN’T GET RID OF THAT F'N SONG!

It all started when I was channel surfing and then I saw a variety show on KBS World. The variety had this coffee shop singing act where a chick is in between two ukulele players belting trot. I can’t really figure out the advent of my pain but I think it was the last time me, Geist, Evilbrain, and the guy-that-can’t-be-named hanged out on a nearby Timog watering hole called Quatro. I am a fan of Korean Television, I am certain of that fact but I am also aware that I don’t dig K-Pop. Come to think of it, I may need to be not sober to perhaps stop this noise inside my head...  

Do you know what Korean trot is? Trot for them is Imelda Papin, Victor Wood, and April Boy Regino to us. The host asked the ukulele player if he knows any current K-Pop song and then the ukulele person sang this.




While I believe that we should appreciate the success of our fellow Filipinos like what Sandara Park or Dara did with 2NE1... 

I DON’T CARE NEEDS TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD!


Ahem.

By the way... IN YOUR FACE, EX-BOYFRIEND JOSEPH BITANGCOL AND FORMER ON-SCREEN PARTNER HERO ANGELES! SHE’S A BIGGER STAR THAN YOU TWO COMBINED! SHE DIDN’T NEED TO BECOME A CO-HOST OF GERMAN MORENO TO REACH THAT FEAT NOR SHE DIDN'T NEED TO DO A GAY ROLE!

Moving on, the song “I Don’t Care” has been rattling on my brain for almost a month now. I tried drowning it by listening to old school music like Joe Cocker, Joan Jett, and Poison but it still bugs the living shit out of me. I tried every song that fits my repertoire but the insane thing is, no matter how I flood my system with Eraserheads, Rivermaya, Parokya Ni Edgar, Wolfgang, and foreign acts like Foo Fighters, the catchy melody of the song is making sound like a racist ass!

I don’t care engengengengeng. I don’t care engengengengeng. Chingwachingwachingwabuchichikoo...

MAKE IT STOP!!!

But maybe, these Korean songs are keys to unlock the biggest mysteries a Pinoy guy needs to do. And that is to…

How to score a Korean chick!

Boom.

Remember a few weeks back when I wrote this? You know... the one with the friend? Well, the date happened. With the English Language as the biggest thorn for a glorious time, my friend made an attempt to make Team Philippines (TP) proud. Team Korea (TK) seems like an easy pick considering that by this time, she is thinking highly of TP.


THE TALE OF THE TAPE!

THE KOREAN CHICK: Shy, homesick, has trouble adapting to our culture, willing to learn the ways of our culture, has trouble pacing alcohol, and English is pretty much a flaw.

THE FILIPINO GUY: Horny. Extremely horny.


With that said, after he has thought of ways to deconstruct TK’s upper and lower garments, TP makes his move by holding the girl’s hand. TK found it cute. Moments later, TP makes a move and TK was shouting “NO kiss! NO kiss!” and “You bad! You bad”! 

Crap... Team Pilipinas lost.


KEYS TO VICTORY:

MORE BEER PLEASE – I don’t know what happened but she’s obviously not tipsy enough to lose her inhibitions and go K-Pop star using your built-in mic as well... a mic. Like I said, Korean chicks tend to gobble a pint of beer in one quick gulp. I think three Red Horses are enough to her think that you’re Rain. 

TRAIN HER MORE – I did some research and the first words foreigners usually remember are curse words. While “puta” shouldn’t be a word of choice, inserting words such as “sex”, “intimacy”, “one time, big time”, and “totoy tripod” should be enough to make her mind wonder on how Super your Junior is.

WIPE YOUR SALIVA – This was perhaps the icing on the cake. Had he judged the scenario, he could have scored. A meaningless “hand settle” to the thigh is normal. Moving it around, going to the inner part, and going upward is kind of bad. Any girl noticing that the man is prepping up to become a “one-man gangbang” is bound to go home empty-handed. U-Kiss? You bad!


Anyway, maybe next time, he’ll find another nationality that he can maul.

Perhaps an Indian?

Until then…

Oh shit…

There’s that song again.

I don’t care engengengengeng. I don’t care engengengengeng.

Game over.

2 comments:

  1. Lol! Bot into KPop but the MV for the song was really nice. I like. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. hehe. thanks but i like my "bubblegum music" under moderation. :)

    i did like the uku version... although i will not admit this in front of a rowdy crowd.

    ReplyDelete