PBA 2010-11 Opening Ceremonies - Rate the Muse


I remember during the 2009-10 PBA Opening Ceremonies when Alex Crisano was part of the Barako Bull franchise. He was the “captain” of the squad. I forgot who the muse was but I remember how comfy Alex was around the girl.

Crisano is now with the Philippine Patriots of the ABL.

Boohoo.

I remember when Purefoods had Chantal Umali as their muse. For those who don’t know her, she was the girl from the Purefoods commercial with Patrick Garcia. You know... “Carlo sat beside me today. He’s so cute! Sabi niya, I’m pretty. Kaya lang, I’m fat”! Sure Chantal had an unsuccessful acting career but she became the team’s muse.

How wrong is that?

Well for starters, I don’t think that this is wrong. She’s cute... although a bit young for the male watchers that were expecting the muse to be a lot hotter... and older.

If you're looking for a muse, will you let the selection committee of Powerade help you?

Yes? Well that answer is wrong.


Sorry for the Pokwang fans but a typical muse should look like Angel Locsin, Marian Rivera, or any random hottie that people consider hot! If Pokwang dressed like a muse, I would have regressed. Maybe Pokwang would wow other people (what we call ugly... foreigners love). However Pokwang was dressed to be funny. When Coke pulled this on the same opening ceremonies where Alex Crisano felt comfy on the Barako Bull muse, maybe the Tigers thought it was funny.

No it is not.

This is the demographic where they could go to a comedy bar... but will not say that they really did. Getting something that is not muse-like isn’t fair to the millions (or thousands) of man-supporters of the squad.

Coke, now Powerade could have learned from the lessons of yesterday and made sure they did their man-audience proud.

By the way, in this rank, I will state the best first and end this with the worst last.

It’s logic... really.

Here are the top ten teams with smoking hot muses.


1 SAN MIGUEL BEERMEN – The Beermen managed to mix quantity and quality by calling former Richard Gutierrez beau GEORGINA WILSON, Gloria Diaz’ sultry spawn ISABELLE DAZA, and FHM cover girl SAM PINTO! I mean wow! So this is what “five-thirsty” means? Did I just say wow? The Beermen managed to mix the alta de ciudad chicks and the mainstream fave to the delight of the public. This grand slam trio could possibly insinuate a grand slam quest for SMB! I MEAN WOW!


2 AIR21 – By virtue of the “more the merrier rule”, the mega-hot and former Maxim Philippines cover girl DAIANA MENEZES should have reigned supreme in this rank. She wore a violent violet dress that would have probably given the whole Express roster something to look forward in the 36th season. Does Air21 want more fans on their side? ADD HER IN THEIR COACHING STAFF! SHE WAS F'N HOT! F'N HOT!!!


3 GINEBRA – There are two types of Ginebra commercials lurking in the boob tube now. How lucky are we that the girl from GSM Blue was picked instead of the mommy encouraging drinkers by serving food. ANNE CURTIS looked like prom queen-hot when she strutted her stuff (by the way, the picture was taken from the internet). There is nothing wrong with that. Whoever said, Anne Curtis isn't hot must be insane. Hey, NANAY DIONESIA is also part of the BMEG commercial... maybe we’ll still see her?


4 BMEG – Fortunately for us, no, there will be no Nanay Dionesia in evening gown in the PBA Opening Ceremonies (she must be checking on her pigs or something). In her place, CARLA ABELLANA is in. Carla’s dimples looks awfully cute in this event. However, her dress is too prim and proper for the fans hoping to see at least a cleavage or knees.


5 BARAKO BULL – I don’t this Fil-German hottie when I first saw her name in the papers but just like Barako Bull’s season, BIANCA BAUER gave people a “good” shock. She looked elegant in her dress and skin peaked in such a way that is not by any means skanky.


6 RAIN OR SHINE – Nepotism took its toll as Caloy Garcia’s niece got the nod for team muse. COLLEEN GARCIA is an up and coming star and she’ll greaty gain stock with her appearance. Caloy Garcia’s mestizo looks were seriously seen on her. That’s also the reason why she’s only sixth... since she really, really looks like her uncle. It’s kind of freaky when you think about it.


7 ALASKA – After celebrating their 25th anniversary, the Aces paraded hot mama NANCY JANE as their muse. I used to like her, especially when I first saw the So-en billboards on South Superhighway. Unfortunately, that nose job screams “miscast body part” for me. Plus her hair looks like she just woke up and has yet to comb. Too much partying?


8 TALK N TEXT – I am usually a fan of JENNYLYN MERCADO. Frankly, motherhood gave her an awesome body. But what the hell was the TNT stunt all about??? Muses are supposed to be lovely and dreamy and what she wore on that occasion NEEDS TO BE LEFT ON A MOVIE SET! Sure, TNT wants to plug her upcoming film but doing it there... is just mean to those men in attendance expecting to see the full figure of this soap star.


9 MERALCO – As some sort of advocacy or a reward to the faithful employees of the company, the Bolts’ muses comprises of 14 FEMALE EMPLOYEES, 14 KIDS, AND 14 MEN WEARING HARD HATS. This is quantity... without the quality. The girls could have been pretty, but they looked simple. How simple? Imagine those DTI representatives when they appear on a random game show. But I am looking at appearance alone in this rank, so don’t be fooled on how Meralco fared. I think it’s an incredible gesture by the execs to do this. I was just hoping for a random chick wearing a hard hat looking crazily hot!


10 POWERADE – In a couple of years the Philippine population will be up to 100 million. More than 60 percent of the population will comprise of women. With that said, WHY IN THE HOLY FUCK DID POWERADE END UP WITH VICE GANDA? I am not judging anything that is about race or gender but muses for a professional basketball team should be women! Men are overgrown apes and the only way they can divert their attention from man things are drumroll please... dreamy women! Plus it is not as if Vice Ganda didn’t see that inasmuch as her star power has grown from leaps and bounds, people will not take her being the muse seriously. The only reason I can see right now is that Vice Ganda has a movie coming up and the star of Petrang Kabayo needs Powerade to be energized. Too bad San Lazaro has long since been gone. Who thought of this idea must be placed in a Sharpshooter or a Stone Cold Stunner!


Some predict a particular season on how there muses drive them to succeed. Mona Lisa could be Leonardo Da Vinci’s driving force while William Shakespeare believes in using muses to get a diagram on how he’ll do his writing.

There are players who deliver awesome numbers when their girlfriends or wives or kids watch them from the stands!

Some of the teams will probably get big-time motivation from their supporters... perhaps led by their muses.

While others...

I dunno what high their muses will give them but I hope their season come into a mess with the stunt they pulled!

Game over.

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