Gulliver's Travels - The Review

Words cannot express my hatred for Gulliver’s Travels.

I cannot understand why an epic film could turn out like that.

The foundations were there but a crappy story with a predictable ending ruined it for me.

Jack Black plays Gulliver, a man with a dead-beat job who wants to score an opportunity... and a hot chick as well. Through plagiarizing, he was sent to a mission where he needs to check out the Bermuda Triangle. A big-assed storm ravaged the ship he was sailing and he was swept to an island filled with extremely little people.

This could have been better if the treatment was done nicely. The treatment wasn’t done nicely. Black’s comedic flaws were uprooted when the director thought it was a good idea to make the film cartoony.

It was not.

The film’s trailer showed promise because it featured a lot of good scenes. Fact is, the trailer was great because it combined all the good scenes from the movie.

Most of the lines that were uttered were corny. It was like School of Rock except the talented kids were replaced by mindless grownups. Why can’t there be a Jack Black movie without guitars or rock? Maybe I’ll forgive this if they made the film a musical comedy which will definitely make the film even better. Instead, the only majestic thing they could do was sing War at the end part. I mean, COME ON! The song was played at the end part of Rush Hour 1... and was constantly raped by the succeeding Rush Hour movies.

And then  you give it to Gulliver’s where they mutilated it, recreated the body again, raped it, fuck it on the ass, and then rape it again!


The Jason Segel-Emily Blunt romance could have been enough time to evolve but because they failed to do so, it was hard for people to even care for their story.

Jack Black was made to merely do punch lines and it defeats his purpose when no one thinks what he’s saying is funny. I really like the guy, but this was film was not the proper vehicle to showcase his talents. The jokes were awfully set up which caused most of them to bomb.

The scenes the film pushed were atrocious. What is with all the signboards? How can a royal town become Las Vegas? Why ON EARTH did the king made his land trashy?  

And perhaps my biggest rant ever, Black should have returned to normal world, where he’ll feel less than a man for deserting his friends, and go on a quest to redeem himself! I don’t care if the giant place was needed in the story! IT BROUGHT NOTHING TO THE STORY!!!

But still, there were some good parts with regards to the story. The most noticeable is Edward. Edward was snobbish, self-serving, and really, really consistent with the role that he played. Played by IT Crowd’s Chris O’Dowd, the material that was given to him wasn’t really good but he managed to pull it off well. Especially when he rode the Transformers-like robot for the first time. At times, he managed to upstage some of his counterparts. 

The Segel-Blunt story had its moments especially when they talk to each other a la Romeo and Juliet

Lastly, the way they combined the newness of our current generation to the previous setting from the book was believable.

I’m going to end this praising for a return engagement. This time, have the writers examine their lives before you give them a laptop or whatever things they need to record their thoughts.

Honestly, there was nothing good to see in Gulliver’s Travels.

Game over.


  1. ...but the movie was so funny and cool...i just watch it yesterday morning with my work colleague...i understand you but the movie was intended to entertain and make laugh people watching it, isn't it?

  2. well... yeah... i had its moments but i saw it in 3d and i felt robbed.

    well i blame my high expectations for this.

    i'm glad to see that you enjoyed it though.