Sucker Punch - The Review

I saw Sucker Punch.

I thought it was a superhero movie with girls involved.

Yes it is.

Or is it?

You see the movie deals about five girls with a mission. It all started with a mother’s death and then it shifts to an asylum. The movie was situated in the 1950’s although there are a lot of loose ends... with regards to technology. The asylum turns out to be a front for a prostitution den headlined by Blue. When she finds out she’ll be sacrificed to the “high roller”, she befriends a bunch of her she-mates to escape the asylum/slut den. By the way, the action sequences in this movie are prompted by a Baby Doll song number.

And yeah, I just bundled up the scenes on that last paragraph.  

I just don’t want to further spoil a lot of things because as it is, its plot is already messy.

I have to admit, the look of the movie is eye-widening. The visual eye candies were spot-on in this movie. The cinematography, art direction, and visual effects can rival Watchmen (writer/director Zack Snyder as well Carlo Gugino were part of this flick), Sin City, and 300 (Snyder also had a part in this flick). I also like their names. Baby Doll, Amber, Sweat Pea, and Blondie could be cliché girl names but Rocket could be a cool name for a girl! Hell, the closing credits can pass as a TVC. However, the biggest problem in this movie lies in its plot. The action scenes made no sense from the dancing. It was like the film was three movies rolled into one... and most of the parts didn’t match properly. I wished Baby Doll would have dancing/attack moves that will coordinate with the fight scenes. I mean I get it in the first try (the Japanese-like part) but the last two dreams were dragging (they had three), had little sense, and... it kind of complicated my apprehension. I mean... really? Was it necessary to do a coyote ugly on the cook? I get it with the mayor... but really... the fat cook? Are there any other sharp objects in that place? 

At the end of the movie, there were a lot of things realized but there were also a lot of questions that were barely answered.

Did a mental patient escape an asylum?

Are the rest of the girls really dead?

I cannot figure out what Scott Glenn was in this movie. I just can’t understand what his purpose in the story is. Is he a pigment of her dreams, the part of the brain that explains sanity, or is he the representation of God? I just don’t know!

The quest parts were cool but the new school German/ World War 2 battle is stupid. The dragon battle is also stupid even if I knew that fire was their next awesome mission. And hell... did I just saw Saturn in one of her dreams? Creative it looks good but the ideas are all jumbled.

And is dancing supposed to be her superpower?

Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic both posted negative reviews for the film. Time Magazine's Richard Corliss called this movie an arrested adolescent's Google search run amok! 

The movie drew great performances from Emily Browning, Jena Malone, Oscar Isaac, and Carla Gugino. At the start of the movie I thought for sure Isaac looked a lot like David Krumholtz. Abbie Cornish was sort of robotic for me while Jamie Chung’s character merely looked like a token sidekick character. Are Asians available for prostitution during that time? It was uncomfortable to see Vanessa Hudgens play that role because her expressions were pretty much High School Musical-like. Even if she’s been “naughty” inside the internet (she’ll make people pay dearly for her photos that leaked), her real-life boldness couldn’t save this movie from her cheesy acting. 

Before I forget – there was this one chick rock song that annoyed me the most. I can’t help but wonder why in the blue hell did they think repeating it over and over and over again was cool! It’s not! It’s annoying! The Love is a Drug song was better. I don’t have any problems with chick bands but it’s just bad.

Really bad.

Actually, I have to question the soundtrack. Was it really necessary to be set in the 50’s, sing a la current generation, and have loud and annoying sounds? Man they are really annoying and it often makes the movie wrong in some many levels.

Like my buddy Evilbrain said, it was like watching five music videos with fillers in-between.

I also blame the misleading trailer.

There were reports that for the film to make the PG rating, they had to delete the scene where Baby Doll and High-Roller (John Hamm) had sex.

I would rather have them clean the story first more than anything else.

It never gave any hints that it will be anything like a segment-story-segment-story movie. It was like watching Tropang Trumpo or some random gag show where after a quick dance, they will resort on telling jokes. If I knew it would be like this then I would have watched Limitless or even that Sarah Geronimo/ Gerald Anderson movie. 

The film had a bunch of awesome action scenes, and the were able to mix this with scantily-clad chicks. 

This is a typical man's fantasy. 

And yet, no one was left amused. 

Again, aesthetics got the best of the movie instead of an interesting story and a plot and I hate it.

Game over.


  1. the promo posters looked good. That's all :D

  2. so i'm guessing you saw the movie with your gf and she kinda got pissed at you?