Daiana and the Fictional Fifteen

There is a big picture of Brazilian beauty Daiana Menezes at the front page of The Philippine Star.

She owes the government almost one million pesos.

Government... meet my thumbs down hand gesture!  

Daiana sort of violated sections 254 and 255 of the National Internal Revenue Code of 1997 for wilful failure to file income tax returns and pay appropriate taxes. The investigation also showed that she has yet to pay taxes since she started her modelling career in the country. The Eat Bulaga host who also stars as Vic Sotto’s chick in Ang Darling Kong Aswang, earned almost 2.7 million pesos since 2007. 

I don’t know who or what should remind her in getting that Bureau of Internal Revenue form, going to a bank to fill up a form and fall in line in a very, long line but she is willing to pay and cooperate.

Which reminds me... I need to check up on my tax returns as well!

The girl is foreigner. While her ability to talk our language in a very fast pace is commendable (she can act well too), it is her handler’s duty to check up on her commitments. It just sucks that the misunderstanding had to be “scooped” up by all of media. If she doesn’t have money and I’m dibs with Eat Bulaga, maybe they should revive Laban O Bawi, do a celebrity version and let her win the one million pesos. But of course that wouldn’t happen. Eat Bulaga didn’t last this long because they commit stupid scandals like what I mentioned. With how much she earned and how much she’ll pay I’m guessing that she needs to double her efforts profession-wise if she wants to continue to have her current lifestyle.

Handing out one million pesos to anyone is just, just wrong.

I remember Judy Ann Santos’ case a few years back. I think she owed the government at least 10 million pesos. She paid that... but just like Daiana, she’s a small fry but just because she’s prominently on TV, she gets the boost of media coverage. Unlike Juday though, Daiana is barely in her league star-wise.  

What if she can’t pay her taxes?

Will she face deportation?

Ugh.

Like I said, she is small fry. Compare her violation with Congressman Mikey Macapagal-Arroyo and it will dwarf hers 78-fold. Yeah, everybody’s favourite former presidential son evaded a sum worth 78.85 million pesos when his mom was still president. I remember when he partnered with Andrew E and Rufa Mae Quinto in that art film (?) A.B. Normal. He was funny for all the wrong reasons but now it’s vice versa.

Mikey thinks this is political harassment. Of course it is. It’s kind of funny that Mikey said at least he doesn’t own a sportscar. Oh... burn. He also said to not drag his wife in this quandary. It sucks to say this but Mikey is right. I mean, no offense to anyone but things took a nosedive ever since President Noynoy appointed Mar Roxas “trouble shooter”.

I mean... what the hell is Mar supposed to do – second-guess Noynoy’s abilities?

But still, Mikey should pay what he owes. The fact that he is an elected official and he himself isn’t following the rules.

That sucks!

Meanwhile, maybe Daiana can charm her way amongst the Forbes’ Fictional Fifteen. This is a list of fictional characters, animated or not, who owns shitloads of imaginary moolah. Although the fictional person on top of the list failed to one-up Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

Here are top 15 in the list.

1 Scrooge McDuck

2 Carlisle Cullen

3 Artemis Fowl II

4 Richie Rich

5 Jed Clampett

6 Tony Stark

7 Smaug

8 Bruce Wayne

9 Mr. Monopoly

10 Arthur Bach

11 Jo Bennett

12 C. Montgomery Burns

13 Chuck Bass

14 Gordon Gekko

15 Jeffrey Lebowski

I can’t really figure out how they calculated the list. Sure, I can understand Mr. Burns’ rank since the only tekkie thing he has in his domain aside from his nuclear power plant is the fact that he has a lot of dogs and a lot of trap doors in his vicinities. Richie Rich has robots serving him drinks and has a science facility. Tony Stark has an enterprise targeting the military to hunt down scientific advancements. Hell, I don’t know if Forbes counted the “other investments” of Wayne Enterprises because as much as I know... he has a cave full of state-of-the-art gadgets.

And yet, they all lost to... a girly vampire? What the hell is he selling?

Ultra-glistening body cream???

Where is that “Go to Jail” card when you need it!

I can’t argue with the top choice though. Scrooge is basically the epitome of richness in the fake world. With a projected net worth of more than 44 billion, I’m pretty sure he can have all the gold coated jets and choppers his eyes can drool on.

I just have one problem though.

Isn’t it hard to swim in coins?

Game over.