I was
never a fan of video games.
Well...
I know a bunch of games particular in the NES,
SNES, PC, and PSP formats but I am no master. Hell, if this was like a
karate belt I’d probably have yellow... or cyan.
Anyway
I stumbled upon this 44-second video about the worst video game titles in the
uploader’s catalogue. If look for the images of some of these titles, you’ll probably
stumble to pornographic images. Some titles are as old as you while others are
products of some creator’s wet dreams.
I took
the liberty on hunting down the titles if they really existed.
And
then I looked at their creators on whether or not they are in some looney bin.
I
assumed all of them are in some place that’s happy.
And by
the way, contrary to what people think, Wild
Woody, Booby Kids and Sticky Balls are great video game names. I also like Wargasm and Pesterminator that I’m
saving them off this list.
Game
starts now!
10 IRRITATING
STICK
This
is in some ways a cool simple game. You basically have a stick and you have to
move it inside a course without hitting the edges. The name? Yeah... it’s
bothersome. I mean an Irritating Stick could only mean one thing right? *cough*
STD *cough* One of the bad things of the game is the guy announcer who really
sounds gay.
9 BAD DUDES VS
DRAGON NINJA
I mean
really? Of all the scary and more impactful names you can think of, you name
your heroes “Dudes”? I mean this is also the game where they refer to their
head of state as “President Ronnie”. The game looks like Double Dragon in some ways but how can you take this game seriously
if you name your heroes “Dudes”?
8 LEE TREVINO’S
FIGHTING GOLF
At the
start part of the game, the red part is not blood. Actually I don’t really know
why this is called “Fighting Golf”. As far as I know legendary pro golfer Lee Trevino isn’t a brawler. If you
check out the game, there is nothing fight-worthy about it. The game’s name is
extremely odd. It’s basically naming your baby daughter “Bruno Rodrigo”.
7 NUTS AND
MILK
Back
when your mother was young and she’d choose for a cartridge to play, it could
be this... Mappy, or a random Disney or Sanrio game. I never thought
two things that can be seen on a shopping cart can be scary. However, this is
not the only food-related title in the countdown.
6 NINJA
HAMSTER
Nothing
says death to infidels than a very quick and agile varmint. See, any carnivorous
animal is scary. An herbivore can be scary if it is big and with horns. Sure,
this game was ahead of its time in terms of fighting games but really... a
ninja hamster? Also if you see the gameplay you’ll understand that the graphics
of the game suits its name.
5 EGGS OF
STEEL: CHARLIE’S EGGCELLENT ADVENTURE
The
name says it all. There is nothing deranged about an egg holding a wrench
working inside a mine. This could have worked if not for the crappy character.
Actually I just can’t understand why you’ll make an egg character. I mean... Humpty Dumpty was a major failure,
right?
4 JAMES POND
11: CODENAME ROBOCOD
His
aquarium should be shaken and not stirred. Obviously people think naming
something from a hugely popular franchise is a good thing. It is not. NOTHING
GOOD happens in these scenarios. And yeah, it is really, really believable for
a spy fish (?) to use his tail to stand upright.
3 PRINCESS
TOMATO IN SALAD KINGDOM
The
name is fucked up as its plot. Princess
Tomato is kidnapped. King Broccoli’s
top knight Sir Cucumber was tasked
to rescue the Princess from the hands (leaves) of Minister Pumpkin. I am tempted to believe that the ones who
developed this smoked a lot of marijuana.
2 XEXYZ
At
least I can understand some of the titles. But this? This I can’t even
perceive. This is actually a game about claiming a planet as their newest
settlement. They don’t even tell you why they call it XEXYZ. Hell... I don’t
even know if this is a word or an acronym! Aside from the crappy name, what’s
up with the crappy gameplay?
1 M.U.S.C.L.E.
I’m
going to make this my top choice because I seriously find the name of this game
gay. Yes... despite the fact that this was one of my favourite games growing
up, the name shows no justice of for the game. Sure, unlike XEXYZ, this is an
acronym (actually this is a popular Japanese game) but had I known that
M.U.S.C.L.E. actually means Millions of
Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere, I would have not even dared
knowing about this! I mean check out the game!
The
game was cool! You just thought of random names to fit the word muscle! I can
easily do a better acronym for muscle! MAN
UNDER SPECIAL COSTUME LION ELEPHANT!
WHAT THE FUCK IS MILLIONS OF
UNUSUAL SMALL CREATURES LURKING EVERYWHERE!?!
By the
way, I’d like to thank Youtube
uploader WiiWareFan and Game Revolution for my crazy attempt to
become computer-smart.
This
is all!
Game
over!
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