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Captain America commands you! |
Earth’s
mightiest defenders are a bunch of pervs!
There
I said it!
But
can you blame me?
I was
checking out the net for research when I stumbled on UGO’s list of the 50 Dirtiest
Comic Book Sex Scenes. Guess what? There were a lot of cracked up scenes
that has The Avengers on it.
For
instance, She-Hulk is slutting it up
on various people. While Hercules is
a very tough being capable of destroying forts with one swoop, Starfox is merely a ginormous
sleazeball.
However,
one good thing about Starfox is his power – his power is basically to make
women bang him.
There
are a lot of single guys out there who’s willing to slice their balls just to
have that power.
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She's green in all the right places! |
And
then there’s the Iron Man. Just like
Paris Hilton, he has a sex tape.
While Paris’ only concern is fashion, among other things... Tony Stark is a smart, tekkie wizard
with a heightened sense of defense whenever trouble lurks. Sure, he is a brash
and cocky billionaire but wouldn’t it hurt him if he scans a random hotel room for
bugs every now and then.
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Tony Stark = Paris Hilton |
But
maybe he wanted to brag on his conquest.
After
all, we are talking about the Black
Widow.
She’s Russian.
Remember
the countless movies where an American action hero goes to Europe? During their
quests they land their selves a Russian hottie. Just watch old Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Van Damme, and
Michael Dudikoff movies if you don’t believe me!
And
finally and the seriously pervy of all is the couple known as the Ant-Man (or Giant Man when eager) and The
Wasp. Both heroes have particles that will enable them to shrink. Ant-Man
uses this power on a lot of things. He literally goes inside The Wasp to
pleasure her.
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Ever wondered if the Ant-Man did it with actual ants? |
Ugh.
What happens
next?
Role
reversal.
Ugh.
By the
way, before we end this, we know that Spiderman
(Peter Parker) lived with his Aunt May so he never saw his parents
doing it.
That
fact led to this.
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He saw wrinkles in all the wrong places. |
I am
guessing the upcoming Avengers movie will not be a stoner flick about a couple
of bods and their hot female companion. If that happens, I pity the girl they
will pair with Hulk.
Although
seeing a kinky Captain America could
be dandy.
Game
over.
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