The Avengers are perverts

Captain America commands you! 

Earth’s mightiest defenders are a bunch of pervs!

There I said it!

But can you blame me?

I was checking out the net for research when I stumbled on UGO’s list of the 50 Dirtiest Comic Book Sex Scenes. Guess what? There were a lot of cracked up scenes that has The Avengers on it.

For instance, She-Hulk is slutting it up on various people. While Hercules is a very tough being capable of destroying forts with one swoop, Starfox is merely a ginormous sleazeball.

However, one good thing about Starfox is his power – his power is basically to make women bang him.

There are a lot of single guys out there who’s willing to slice their balls just to have that power.

She's green in all the right places! 

And then there’s the Iron Man. Just like Paris Hilton, he has a sex tape. While Paris’ only concern is fashion, among other things... Tony Stark is a smart, tekkie wizard with a heightened sense of defense whenever trouble lurks. Sure, he is a brash and cocky billionaire but wouldn’t it hurt him if he scans a random hotel room for bugs every now and then.

Tony Stark = Paris Hilton

But maybe he wanted to brag on his conquest.

After all, we are talking about the Black Widow.

She’s Russian.

Remember the countless movies where an American action hero goes to Europe? During their quests they land their selves a Russian hottie. Just watch old Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Van Damme, and Michael Dudikoff movies if you don’t believe me!

And finally and the seriously pervy of all is the couple known as the Ant-Man (or Giant Man when eager) and The Wasp. Both heroes have particles that will enable them to shrink. Ant-Man uses this power on a lot of things. He literally goes inside The Wasp to pleasure her.

Ever wondered if the Ant-Man did it with actual ants? 

Ugh.

What happens next?

Role reversal.

Ugh.

By the way, before we end this, we know that Spiderman (Peter Parker) lived with his Aunt May so he never saw his parents doing it.

That fact led to this.

He saw wrinkles in all the wrong places. 

I am guessing the upcoming Avengers movie will not be a stoner flick about a couple of bods and their hot female companion. If that happens, I pity the girl they will pair with Hulk.

Although seeing a kinky Captain America could be dandy.

Game over.